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Living the Dream

Image: PV Bella

I do not have a lifestyle. I do not even know what a lifestyle is. I have a way of life. Is there a reason my way of life must have a style or be stylish?

There are gurus on television and the internet promoting lifestyles, wellness, self-care, and hawking assortments of books, videos, and snake oil to the gullible masses.

What are these concepts? Wellness? Self-care? Lifestyle? Why do people need to fork over hard-earned money to be physically and emotionally well or learn to take care of themselves?

There are suckers born every minute. Gurus find them.

My favorite “profession” is a life coach. They coach people on how to live a life. How fucking asinine is that? People are so dumb they have to hire a coach to train them how to live. Are these people seals?

People constantly talk about these things. How do I know? They talk loudly on their phones or to each other on public transportation, in coffee shops, bars, gyms, and restaurants. They want the whole world to know they live in style, practice wellness, and self-care. The world must know they live the dream, following the gurus’ advice and buying their crap.

Many of the acolytes of these gurus are “educated” young and middle-aged people. They spend what discretionary income they have learning how to live. They seek peace, calm, and nirvana in their dull, worthless, and meaningless lives.

Living is simple. You wake up, open your eyes. Breathing is an extra. Feet hit the floor, and you go through whatever your morning routine is before heading out to do whatever it is you do. You go home. You eventually go to sleep, hoping to wake up the following day. You spend your off time doing chores or recreating. How difficult is this?

If you do not like how you live, do you need to pay someone to teach you or buy their books and products to enhance you? If you get to a certain age and haven’t figured out how to live, take care of yourself, stay well, or change course, you are in serious need of parental control.

I admit I am envious. I wish I could be one of those gurus, sucking in big bucks through various sales funnels. I have something they do not. A long life experienced in living well. I would be the most brutal life coach in the city. Think a drill sergeant, only more vicious and vulgar. I would teach tough-shit love.

My way of life is based on comfort and convenience. Comfortable shoes, clothes, and furniture. I socialize with a small group of friends. I know how to shop for food, cook, and where to find places to eat. All my wants and needs are met. Do I need to buy a book or more crap to learn this or enhance it?

Well-being? I am comfortable with myself. Happiness is conditional, not a constant state of mind. I amuse myself by complaining. I have a life balance. I balance my anger and joy. Sometimes, anger makes me happy. I am grateful for what I have. I wait to afford the things I want. I have bartenders to meet my needs.

Self-care? I eat well, drink good coffee, beer, wine, and booze. I take long walks. I care for my psyche by laughing at the daily foibles committed by the human species. I vetch about the constant annoyances humans cause. I criticize them publicly for their stupidity. This alleviates stress, so I can remain calm when the pests and pestilence are not around.

How hard is it to live that you need to pay money to some guru to tell you how to have a life or buy their books and products to make you happy, healthy, and cared for? Life is as easy or hard as you make it.

As the saying goes, “Life is tough. It is tougher if you are stupid.” Don’t be stupid.

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