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Deputized stool pigeons

Image: PV Bella

As Chief Justice John Roberts noted in his dissent to the court’s 5-4 decision to allow the law to go into effect, at least for now: Texas “essentially delegated enforcement of that prohibition to the populace at large. The desired consequence appears to be to insulate the State from responsibility for implementing and enforcing the regulatory regime. The State defendants argue that they cannot be restrained from enforcing their rules because they do not enforce them in the first place.”  (Chicago Tribune). 

If you thought the unthinkable could not happen, leave it to the bubbas and bubbettes of Bubbaland. “The Great State of Texas” is now the laughingstock of the nation. They passed a piece of legislation that is the biggest legal joke in the country. 

Those wily s**t kicking Texans passed a law the state will not enforce. They will let vigilante mercenary citizens enforce the law. After six weeks of pregnancy, the law allows people to sue anyone they believe participated in an abortion- even the cab driver who took the patient to the clinic. They legislated deputizing mercenary stool pigeons and bounty hunters. If they win, the participant pays up to a $10,000 fine, and the money goes to the stool pigeon.

Like their avian pigeon brethren, stool pigeons leave s**t all over the place. There is another name for stool pigeons, rats.

Image: PV Bella

Instead of making abortion a crime, they made it a tort. Anyone with no standing can sue people for something that harms their fragile beliefs. Soon stool pigeon and rat posses will be ridin out all over the state to claim their reeward. Oh, people will get a fair trial. First, they’re gonna try ya. Then they’re gonna fine ya, turning it over to the stool pigeons and rats—Yippie aye yay cow pattie.

Supposedly Texas is citing “medical science” about fetal heartbeats. It must be from the same textbook of animal husbandry they rely on to curb the spread of pandemics and prescribes livestock dewormers for preventing and curing COVID.

No matter your belief in abortion, this is laughable and dangerous. Both the extremist progressive and far-right groups are looking at this law with glee. They are trying to figure out how to get similar stool pigeon/rat legislation passed to turn us into a divided nation of snitchers while punishing bitchers, comedians, satirists, artists, humorists, opinion writers, or people who disagree with the regime.

They will not only enact wokism, cancel culture, and offending fragile beliefs, but will reward it. This is something where opposing extremist sides can work in bipartisanship since both are equally dangerous.

Those good ole freedumb lovin Texans established the first plank of dictatorship. Gotta tip yer dusty Stetson and kick up yer s**t kickers to em. Hoist a Lone Star and give em a mighty round of applause.

Justice Roberts used a clever word to describe Texas, “regime.” Regimes used and still use laws like this to punish, reeducate or execute those who disagreed with or make fun of their dear leaders. The Russian, Nazi, and Chinese regimes had stool pigeon legislation. North Korea and other brutal regimes have similar laws. Bitchers are turned in by snitchers.

This legal thinking can go down to the local level. Your neighbor sees the mayor’s picture on your dartboard. Boom, they get a reward, and you will be hauled off to indoctrination jail. Your child hears you say disparaging things about the governor and tells their teacher. A posse hired by the teacher’s union will take you away. Do you have an alderman’s picture on your toilet paper? Streets and San will haul you away on garbage pick-up day. They will collect a reward.

There is a reason the social justice warriors want jail populations reduced. They make room for the victims of stool pigeons and rats to be reeducated or punished for their harmful beliefs.

Never think that politicians care about your freedom or the Constitution. They have been trying to “fix” that document since its inception. Texas is just the beginning. As long as this law stands, what stops other states, cities, or the federal government from implementing stool pigeon/rat legislation, creating a new torts class, and “deputized” vigilantes? 

If you think this Texas law is just about abortion, you are thinking wrong. There are all kinds of issues that cannot be outlawed. Yet, like in Texas, they can turn the issues into torts. You can be sued by people who suffer no harm, except to their fragility, and they will be rewarded by the fine. Snowflakes and cupcakes from the far right to the far left will be roving the nation looking for offense.

The City of Chicago is always looking for ways to rob the citizens through fines. It is a good bet the mayor and city council are looking at this cash cow. They will be scheming to figure out a way to keep part of the reward money for themselves. That’s the Chicago Way.

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