Last updated on February 14, 2024
“While men were watching professional football or drinking beer or bowling, they, the women, were thinking about us, concentrating, studying, deciding – whether to accept us, discard us, exchange us, kill us or whether simply to leave us. In the end it hardly mattered; no matter what they did, we ended up lonely and insane.” —Charles Bukowski
As you can tell from the above, I am one of those hopeless romantics, Mr. Lance Romance, with Cupid’s arrow sticking out of my arse cheek. Today is Valentine’s Day. A day of hearts, flowers, candy, gifts, and whatever. All romance, kissy face, teeth aching treacle sweetness.
In Chicago, we celebrate Valentine’s Day by killing men. We send the gift of lead.
On February 14, 1929, Chicago showed the world how to properly celebrate Valentine’s Day. The celebration was and still is, romanticized in film, history, and fiction. It was the day Chicago put the red in Valentine’s Day, making it the official color. Alphonse Capone is credited with creating the celebration. It made people see those lovey-dovey hearts in a whole new manner.
Rat-a-tat-tat kaboom became the official music of L-U-V on that cold, snowy February day. The whole world saw how Chicago celebrated Valentine’s Day in a whole new way. Somewhere in the world, the ritual is emulated daily.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day.