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The Chicago Way Awards

The Chicago Way Award

Mayor Lori Lightfoot gave an emotional and impassioned award-winning statement on the situation in Ukraine. She rarely gives passionate, emotional statements over the almost daily murders of innocent victims, especially children, in Chicago. She cares more about a country half a world away than her own city. Dead people no longer vote in Chicago. Why waste the art of rhetorical emotion and passion on them?

Lightfoot is a nominee for the Chicago Way Award (CWA) for Best Actress from the Chicago Way Academy of Arts and Sciences. The Chicago Way Award is the most prestigious political award in the nation. The Chicago Way Academy of Arts and Sciences was established in 1977. The award ceremony takes place in a location in the city known only to members of the Academy and the nominees. The ceremony’s location changes yearly. The event is a formal invitation-only gala.

Lightfoot is not alone in contention for the CWA, a gold statuette in the form of the middle finger. State’s Attorney Kim Foxx is a contender for the Best Actress Award. Her impassioned and emotional acts when accused of cheerfully and willingly failing to do her job are stunning performances. You could see the tears and hear the sobs from her fans, the Chicago news media.

Chief Judge Timothy Evans is in contention for the Best Comedy Award for his performances, especially for his hilarious joke about undeveloped brains in Chicago’s murders. It was one of the best jokes on this city.

Superintendent of Police David Brown is up for two awards. One for his portrayal as a s**t kicking cowboy gunslinger in the big city. The other for his comedic ability portraying an incompetent, bumbling, mumbling, and ineffectual police superintendent ala the famed Barney Fife. Disclaimer: No horses were injured during his portrayals.

In the Fantasy category, Toni Preckwinkle is the hands-down favorite for her portrayal as a puppeteer, the invisible hands pulling and manipulating the strings of the Chicago Way. She is also in contention for an award as a producer and director. She produced and directed the Punch and Judy style show, with Kim Foxx as Punch, punching down Judy, portrayed by Lori Lightfoot.

Alderman Ed Burke is in contention for the Best Drama Award for his portrayal in the Old Man and the Sea, vigorously fighting the elements to land the Big Tuna. Burke was also nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Award for his dramatic and comedic performances and his contributions to the Chicago Way craft over the decades.

The CWA after-parties are some of the most coveted invitations in the city. The most lavish and coveted is thrown by Gregoire Sorostov, an enigmatic oligarch and financier whose goal is to shape governments to the ideals of his Closed Society Foundation. Sorostov finances some of the local political campaigns in Chicago and Cook County. Those who took his bribes campaign donations are achieving his Closed Society ideals by implementing and executing them.

This year’s ceremony will be held on April 1st, in honor of the Chicago voters who support the Chicago Way, keeping Academy members employed.

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