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Author: pvbella

The Dramatic Saga Continues Bring in the Feds

Image: CCSO Mugshot

The Jussie Smollett Evil Clown Show continues. His brother, Joqui, issued a video statement through his brother’s Instagram account.

“Clear my brother’s name,” he said of the 39-year-old actor. “Make sure this appeal clears my brother’s name. You have a liability on your hand. Anyone with intelligence at the state level should understand that. There’s absolutely no evidence that Jussie did this, there never was. The CPD went on a smear campaign of my brother’s name…”

“There’s countless numbers of police misconduct in this case,” he said. “Judicial misconduct, prosecutorial misconduct, double jeopardy. State of Illinois: do the right thing – make sure this appeal goes through…

“Jussie is innocent. For far too long Black folks have been expected to go through trauma and then get back up as if that trauma is normal. We will be speaking on Jussie’s behalf for the near future,” he wrote. “2 out of 3 state judges voted this week to suspend Jussie’s jail sentence while he awaits his appeal. This is a clear acknowledgment from the state that there are holes in this case.” (BET)

This whole case is nothing but a brilliant drama and a cry for attention from Jussie Smollett and his family. The drama rubbed off on Chicago’s drama queen and aspiring actress, Kim Foxx. I could imagine someone penning a screenplay about this whole scenario. Just about everyone involved can play themselves. Netflix or Amazon would probably produce the docudrama.

Here is a clue to prove Smollett and his family are liars, and the whole thing was a hoax. They can accuse the Chicago Police, the courts who appointed the special prosecutor, and the judge all they want. Do you know who else investigates hate crimes? The FBI. Smollett did not report the “crime” to the Feds, as far as we know. His attorneys did not ask or demand the feds get involved. For a good reason. When the hoax was proven a second time, Smollett would be looking at serious federal time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

There is no public indication the FBI is investigating the Chicago Police Department for civil rights violations. There is no public indication the FBI opened a case of the “hate crime”

The Feds do not fool around when they are lied to, especially on a grand scale. It is still not too late for the FBI to open a case. They should investigate the whole shebang, from the hoax to the police investigation, and Kim Foxx’s attempts to quash the hoax to make it all disappear. It would not take much time or resources. They could wrap up this case in short order.

If they come to the same conclusion as the Chicago Police Department, they could have Smollett indicted. Since these would be federal charges, there would be no issues about double jeopardy.

Of course, the drama would intensify. Jussie would probably go on a hunger strike, as fake as the one he pulled off in the Cook County Jail. He could give soliloquies ending with a raised fist and shouting “CRY FREEDOM” as he is led away to those fine Federal accommodations.

In all seriousness, this case demands screams for an investigation by the United States Department of Justice. We, the people of Chicago, should demand the Feds get involved to prove or disprove the Smollett Hoax once and for all. They could find all kinds of exciting things, including the nefarious machinations by supposed Cook County prosecutor Kim Foxx. That could be called the Kim Foxx Hoax.

Hoo boy, just think if they found enough to drive her out of office or into a federal courtroom. How dramatic would that be? Just think of Foxx’s emoting about the whole thing on and off the stand. It would be priceless. It would be the performance of a lifetime.

Yes, I realize the Feds have better things to do, like going after our clownish politicians for their quaint corrupt ways. But, the twin Smollett/Foxx hoaxes need another set of eyes. The public needs some closure to this drama. An ending, happy or sad.

One could wonder what the late Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel are musing about this production. One or two thumbs up or thumbs down?

Kim Foxx’s Office of Criminal Cuddling and Coddling

The Dance of Death Image: PV Bella

“The impact of injustice on these individuals, by actors including prosecutors, deserves to be remedied,” Foxx said in a statement. “Through the Resentencing Initiative, prosecutors can begin addressing the fact that many Black and brown people are still incarcerated today under failed policies of the past, even though they have been rehabilitated and pose little threat to public safety.” (Kim Foxx/Chicago Tribune)

A while back, an incarcerated person who murdered a police officer was up for parole. State’s Attorney Kim Foxx refused to send officials to argue against parole. She stated her office would no longer object to convicted criminals being paroled.

Now, she is advocating for the release of convicted criminals if she feels their sentences were too long, unjust, or they are rehabilitated. She blames the failed policies of the past for long incarcerations.

Foxx’s failed policies of the present are responsible for murder and mayhem on the streets of Chicago. She is washing away the “sins” of the past with the blood of the present. She has blood on her hands.

According to Foxx’s Office of Criminal Cuddling and Coddling, “The purpose of resentencing is “to advance public safety through punishment, rehabilitation, and restorative justice.”

We saw time after time paroled- rehabilitated- people commit violent crimes shortly after getting released from prison. Kim Foxx even refused to prosecute parole violators. One brave judge went on the record with her disgust during a case where the prosecutor said the office would not prosecute two parole violators.

If Kim Foxx spent more time and resources prosecuting dangerous felons, our city might be safer. Unfortunately, she cares more about criminals and their families than victims. Not once has she shown any emotion towards murder victims. Not even when they were children, toddlers, or infants.

But boy, oh boy, did she get emotional over the Jussie Smollett conviction and sentence. Her op-ed piece in the Sun-Times was Pulitzer Prize worthy.

She put on an Academy Award emotional performance when Mayor Lori Lightfoot criticized her failures. Boss Preckwinkle politically slapped Lightfoot around. Now she and Foxx are the best of frenemies.

Kim Foxx is a disaster as a State’s Attorney. You people elected her twice and will probably elect her again if she runs or runs for higher office.

Folks, you got the State’s Attorney you deserve. Learn to live with it. Hopefully, you will not die from it.

The Crook County Pirates

This should be the new Cook County Flag

Man, you have to love those inauthentic, low-frequency lame piles of redundant protoplasm, the Cook County Board of Commissioners, AKA the Cook County Board of Omissioners. Their leader, Machine Boss, Toni Preckwinkle, finds ways to prioritize the most trivial and irrelevant issues.

What is their latest act of wastrel stupidity? Choosing a new design for the Cook County flag. Why? What is wrong with the current flag? It is perfectly acceptable. It is simple and reflects the simpletons running the county and our city into the ground while taxing us to death for their perfidy.

They had a contest among high school students to design the new flag. The finalists are ready to be considered.

In celebration and recognition of more than 190 years since the founding of Cook County, Commissioners will choose a new flag that is an inclusive representation of Cook County, the rich diversity of its residents, the beauty of its landscape, the innovation of its institutions, and the pride of its history.(Cook County Government)

I have a design. The Jolly Roger, AKA, the pirate flag. It is fitting since Cook County is being run by pirates, who rape, pillage, and loot the populace with high taxes in return for poor service. They are led by a pirate queen, Chicago Machine Boss Toni Preckwinkle.

The Jolly Roger is historically and culturally appropriate because thanks to Cook County Government, Chicago is being victimized by murderers, shootings, armed robberies, carjackings, looting oops, smash and grabs. Can’t offend the over tender sensitivities of looters, can we?

I do not know what innovation of its institutions or pride of its history means. The only innovative institutions in Cook County are in Chicago. The only notable and rich history is Chicago history. The county itself is not known for anything worth writing about or commemorating.

Chicago’s flag represents the city’s rich history. The current Cook County flag represents its bland, almost non-existent history.

Cook County is doing a great disservice to the people of Chicago. Under the guise of criminal justice reform- whatever that means- criminals are let out on low or now bail, felonies are rarely prosecuted. If you are a celebrity, you get the red-carpet treatment by our star-struck prosecutor.

Criminal justice reform is anything but. It is budget reform. The county is paring down costs by keeping the jail as empty as possible and not prosecuting cases. This is Machine Boss Preckwinkle’s- AKA Theftwinkle- revenge for the drubbing she took over her ridiculous soft drink tax for “public health purposes.” She would create havoc and chaos on our streets if she could not loot our pockets just like pirates did on the high seas.

Here is another design idea. A plain white flag of surrender with four bright red bloody handprints. Each would represent Toni Preckwinkle, Kim Foxx, Tom Dart, and Tim Evans. They have blood on their hands, and it should be commemorated. Their innovations killed, wounded, and terrorized the citizens of this county. They surrendered to the criminal element.

The people should have a vote on this stupid idea instead of the Crook County Board of Commissioners. We are paying the price for their pillaging our pockets. We pay the price in blood, lives, and terror for their “reforms.” We are paying the price because the Cook County Board of Assessors still uses Tarot Cards and Ouija Boards to make property tax assessments.

Here is a novel idea. How about we vote out each and every county elected official in the next election. But that will not happen. It is the reason I gave up on the human species in Chicago. The voters of this city are chromosomal defects. They are zombie cultlike, uneducated, unlearned, and devoid of intelligence. They march on the polls on election day and keep voting for the people who are killing them softly with their policies and robbing them blind.

We should officially change the name of Cook County to Crook County. It is historically and culturally appropriate to celebrate their innovative institutional and historical thievery through taxation and other financial scams.

Saint Patrick’s Day

Image: PV Bella

Today is St. Patrick’s Day. We celebrate Irish history, culture, and the contributions the Irish made to society and culture. Too many, mostly non-Irish, celebrate by wearing funny green clothing and drowning the shamrock, drinking way beyond excess, especially that horse p**s green beer and those concocted “Irish” cocktails.

What is lost to many are the sufferings inflicted on the Irish by Great Britain. Great Britain never was held accountable for all the atrocities they committed throughout the world in the Colonial Era. They are held up as a paragon of human rights, go figure.

The Irish gave us poets, writers, playwrights, musicians, actors, singers, songwriters, visual artists, politicians, a president, educators, religious institutions, and other contributions to this country.

Like other immigrants who came to America, the Irish were treated brutally until they fought their way up the ladder of acceptance. This was the American way for most immigrants over the last two centuries. You were treated like dirt until you overcame and earned acceptance. Unfortunately, that American way has been dusted off and reared its ugly head again.

My pal, Tony Fitzpatrick, summed up the Irish in these excerpts from a longer essay:

“There is an impression that the Irish are a bunch of happy-go-lucky dipshits with fake brogues and cheery dispositions. Let us dispense with this myth right now. There is no darker heart than that of the Irish, Boyo…

You don’t want the luck of the Irish. Poverty, famine and the oppression of the British Crown are some of the components of this “luck.”

…The Irish have been conquered, raped and pillaged by the Spaniards, the English and the Vikings. Some “luck.” They still managed to take the language imposed upon them by their conquerors and use it better than they did…

…We are the best storytellers on the planet. We endured a famine so atrocious almost a quarter of our countrymen perished while the English raided our surviving potato crops…

…This is the way with us Irish. We contain great beauty; that which history has not been able to take from us, and we wield it with the best and worst intentions. Get in the way of our dance in this life, Boyo, and we’ll knock your dick loose…

To my Irish friends, Erin Go Bragh. To all you non-Irish people who pretend to be Irish today, do us all a favor. Go puke in the street or alleys instead of the sidewalks on your “pub” crawls. Or, like dog owners, carry plastic bags you can puke in and dispose of. Better yet, stop pretending to be “Irish.” Cultural appropriation and all that.

The Ukraine Pirates are we

The streetlamps are on in Ukraine tonight
And the Russians are running to ground
Leaving their junk behind
And Putin  is dosing and the Fatman’s counting the tanks
And there’s more tanks than places to put ’em, he said
But I’ve got room for them all
So round ’em up boys
’cause I want some more toys
Hit the road where the convoy stalled

To me way, hay
Tow them away
The Ukraine Farmers are we
From Kyiv to Sumy
There’s nothing so gloomy
                                                       And we always collect our fee
(Apologies to Steve Goodman)

Ukrainians are religious people. During Putin’s terrorism against their homeland, they prayed for salvation in any form.

The Great Comedian looked down with pity on his children. He called Satan and had Ross Cascio, AKA the Fatman, the former owner of Lincoln Towing, brought to Him. Lincoln Towing was the most notorious towing company in Illinois. It was the subject of the Steve Goodman song, the “Lincoln Park Pirates.” It was also the subject of several Mike Royko columns.

Cascio did not look worse for the wear for someone who spent his time in Hell. He looked hale, happy, and hardy, except for some singed ear and nose hair. Cascio stood before the Great Comedian puffing a large black oily cigar.

God asked him why he was not suffering like the others in Hell. The Fatman shrugged and replied that he made a deal with the Devil. He and his band of graduates from the Charm School in Joliet became Satan’s enforcers.

The Great Comedian offered Cascio a better deal, a deal with Him.

“The people of Ukraine are suffering. But the Russians are abandoning their tanks and other vehicles. They are running around like heads with their chickens cut off. I will commute your sentence in Hell, temporarily return you to mortal life, and then bring you to Heaven. You must go to Ukraine and develop a way to “relocate” the abandoned vehicles. The Ukrainians can use the tanks against the Russians. Later, you can show them how to sell them for scrap to raise money to cover their losses. It is long past time you became a humanitarian.”

The Fatman looked down and thought for a moment. In typical Chicago- Italian fashion, he put his palms up, shrugged his shoulders, and said, “Yeah, sure.”

 One second, he was standing before the Great Comedian. The next he was in Ukraine. He discovered he could speak and understand the language. He secured transportation to one of the abandoned convoys. There were several abandoned tanks surrounded by Ukrainians.

Cascio realized he was in a farming community. Farmers have tractors and earth-moving equipment. He told people to have the farmers bring their equipment. There were large numbers of tractors and other equipment by the following day.

The Fatman told the farmers to attach chains and tow bars the tanks to tractors until there were enough to pull them. Once that was figured out, they went to work. One by one, the tanks were towed, Destroyed tanks were booby-trapped and used to strategically block the road from any future tank convoys.

Being an entrepreneurial type, Cascio also had Russian armored vehicles and trucks towed. He towed them all away. Day after day, his crew of farmers went to abandoned convoys, towing tanks, and other Russian equipment.

In one instance, they towed a tank with Russians still inside. They popped out and began to run. They bumped into their guards, who left to forage for food. They ran off, stumbling, bumbling, and slogging through the muddy farm fields.

Cascio realized he may need more help if they encountered Russian soldiers. He convinced the government to lend him some students from the charm school at Lukyanivska. They arrived the next day, looking like the meanest band of cutthroat pirates The Fatman ever saw. His former crew was wusses compared to these guys.

Ross Cascio is reveling in his role as The Ukraine Tank Pirate. He is reliving his life all over again on a grander scale. Cascio sent the Russian government a Lincoln Park Towing bill for each tank towed as a joke. He would sell each one for one U.S. dollar to the Ukraine resistance if they did not pay.

IMAGE: Courtesy of the Geriatric Genius

It is said Putin is twirling, swirling, and spinning over Cascio and his Ukraine Tank Pirates. He even tried sending a delegation to Chicago to learn how to deal with the Fatman. They were met with disdain, shrugged shoulders, and palms up. “Nuttin we kin do. Da Fatman is dead. Tell ya boss to lay off da bong.”

NOTE: What is happening in Ukraine is heartbreaking. However, the sight of farmers towing Russian tanks is humorous and embarrassing to Putin.

As to the conflict, contrary to what everyone thinks, Putin is not conducting a “special operation or a war. It is an act of terrorism. Unfortunately, no one in the world has the guts to call him a terrorist or label the Russian Federation as a terrorist organization. That is my opinion, and I am sticking to it.

You did it Chicago

Image: PV Bella

I was dreamin’ when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this mornin’
Could’ve sworn it was judgment day…

Say, say, 2000-00, party over
Oops, out of time
So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999
(1999/Prince)

On St. Patrick’s day two years ago, I celebrated in my local saloon with friends. There was a full buffet, and we had a great time. The next afternoon, after watching Jeopardy with some of the same group- a daily activity- Governor Pritzker was on the news, fulminating over the various St. Pat’s celebrations. The COVID-19 shutdowns began.

We masked up, social distanced for almost two years, stayed home and followed the protocols and mandates. I usually have a jaded position on Chicago, Cook County, and Illinois elected officials. Chicagoans have a love-hate relationship with our mayors. We hate to love them and love to hate them. But I am fair and believe in giving credit where credit is due.

Mayor Lori Lightfoot and her team led a calm response to the pandemic. They tried to keep the numbers down, hospitals from overflowing, and more importantly, keeping the death toll as low as possible. Working with the Governor and his team, their policies kept most of us alive and as healthy as possible. Public safety and public health are the highest priorities of the government. Lightfoot failed and is still failing on public safety. But she succeeded in the public health arena.

Yes, the mandates were a pain in the ass. No one likes wearing masks, looking like a bandit, and putting up with the discomfort. No, our freedumbs were not inhibited. Freedom has some responsibilities, like keeping ourselves and others safe. I am fortunate to live in a great walking neighborhood, with two large parks bordering the north and south and a plaza. I could go for daily long walks, weather permitting. I met new acquaintances.

Yes, the COVID mandates caused anger in some. TFB. There were times when mandates were worse. People were quarantined in their homes during typhoid, T.B., the so-called Spanish Flu, and other contagions. They were imprisoned. Signs were posted on doors by the Chicago Police Department. There was even an order prohibiting police officers from using the butts of their pistols to nail quarantine signs to the doors.

While our elected officials deserve some credit, the real credit goes to you, the citizens. You followed the mandates. You kept yourselves, families, friends, and the rest of us safe. You deserve a hearty pat on the back. The few freedumb lovers in this city deserve several swift kicks in the ass.

The heroes during the pandemic were essential workers. Cops, firefighters, EMTs, health care professionals and workers, retail workers, cab and rideshare workers, CTA personnel, and a long list of others. They went to work every day providing for us. City workers made sure Chicago stayed the City that Works. They were out daily, keeping things running as smooth as possible. So were the utility companies’ workers.

A shout-out goes to Chicago restaurants and cooks who provided free, or through others, food to health care workers, cops, and fire personnel. Former Mayor Rahm Emanuel showed up at several hospitals, bringing food to the workers. In small or large ways, other people pitched in to ensure the most vulnerable among us had their needs met.

So, now that we are finally free from most mandates and protocols, congratulate yourself, Chicago. You did it. You drove the numbers down to the point we are open, and business is back to nearly normal. We can do the things we missed.

I wrote and edited this a saloon. It is one of the places where I can be away from home, be amongst my so-called fellow humans, and interact or be left the f**k alone.

It ain’t over yet, but the end looks near. We may soon party like it’s 1999.

IMAGE: UNK/Facebook

Someone needs to advise Mayor Lori Lightfoot on her clothing choices as a side note. If you are going to wear an Irish kilt to a parade, learn to wear it properly, you know, lok like you are Irish. My Irish friends and Scots relatives were appalled at her wardrobe at the South Side St. Patrick’s parade.

Shakespeare in Chicago

Image: PV Bella

“If I did this, then it means I stuck my fist in the fears of Black Americans in this country for over 400 years, and the fears of the LGBT community,” he said. “Your honor, I respect you, and I respect the jury, but I did not do this. And I am not suicidal, and if anything happens to me when I go in there, I did not do it to myself.” (Jussie Smollett)

I have seen a lot of courtroom drama during my time as a police officer. Usually, the dramatists are the attorneys arguing their cases.

Jussie Smollett’s soliloquy after he was sentenced was one of the most incredible performances I ever saw in a Chicago courtroom. It is worthy of a Jeff Award.

Smollett is the Thespian of Chicago. His performance was dramatically charged. His oration was precise and emotional. He timed his rising anger perfectly, yelling louder as bailiffs led him to the holding area.

Jussie Smollett could partner with his Chicago patroness, Kim Foxx, another accomplished emotional, dramatic writer, orator, and thespian. They could write a Chicago Way Shakespearean tragedy.

Jussie must do something during his incarceration. The play would have a cast of backstabbers, charlatans, frauds, friends, allies, enemies, frenemies, traitors, connivers, avengers, retributionists, mobs, and fools. You know, the gamut of Chicago politics.

The plot could revolve around justice, injustice, retribution, revenge, greed, life, death, conspiracies, mob justice, race, misogyny, LGBQT+ issues, power, power struggles, and the Chicago Way.

The nice thing is many of the cast can play themselves.

  • Jussie Smollett as Prince Jamlet
  • The Tuna Sub Sandwich as itself
  • Kim Foxx as Grandis Accusator Vulpes
  • Rahm Emanuel as Arbius Truncus
  • Lori Lightfoot Imperatrix Maximus Virgam
  • Toni Preckwinkle as Summum Princeps Maximus
  • The Osundario brothers as Otello and Moro
  • Chicago Police Officers as Urbs Legio
  • Chicago Police Detectives as Legio Inquisitores
  • Chicago News Media as Equos Asininus
  • Citizens of Chicago (The chorus) as Stultus Suffragi

After two years of the pandemic, Chicago deserves good theatrical entertainment. Maybe the Goodman or Steppenwolf would be an appropriate venue for the production.

The play opens on one of the coldest days of the year. The main character, Prince Jamlet, braves the below-zero weather in the wee hours of the morning to get a tuna sub sandwich. As he returns, fighting the arctic temperatures, polar bears, and Innuits, he is attacked by two men wearing MAGA hats. They call him racial and homophobic slurs. They punch and push him around. They douse Jamlet with bleach and place a crude noose around his neck. The Stultus Suffragii sings the opening song, a, maybe the theme from Rocky.

All the while, Jamlet holds on to that tuna sandwich for dear life. When the duo flees, Jamlet composes himself and walks the rest of the way home in the Arctic cold, with a death grip on the tuna sandwich and the noose around his neck.

While waiting for the police, Prince Jamlet delivers a soliloquy to the tuna sandwich, as he holds it aloft, as violins softly play in the background.

“Alas, poor Sandwich! I knew them, Otello and Moro, fellows of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; they hath provided illicit substances for me a thousand times…”

When the tale of woe came out, it shocked the world. The Legio Inquisitores were sent throughout the land to find those who committed this heinous deed. Soon, they found the culprit. It was none other than Prince Jamlet himself.

Former Caesar Arbius Truncus was furious. His Inquisitores spent days investigating only to discover the crime was a hoax. Otello and Moro were paid by Jamlet to do this. They turned on him to save themselves.

Grandis Accusator Vulpes at first approved charges against Jamlet. Then, after the intervention of Jamlet’s family and influential political and Hollywood royalty, she refused to prosecute Jamlet.

Caesar Arbious Truncus was infuriated. He wanted heads to roll. He needed them to create a new game called bowling. The orchestra plays “Anger of the Gods.”

Grandis Accusator Vulpes defended herself in dramatic soliloquies, citing truth, justice, and the Chicago Way. She claimed she did nothing wrong and performed well within the rules of the Chicago Way.

Time wore on. Jamlet was free. Caesar Arbius Truncus leaves the stage. Imperatrix Maximus Virgam enters.

Accusator Vulpes is tossed to the side and replaced by a Speciale Accusator. Summum Princeps Maximus was infuriated that a jurist would override Accusator Vulpes and appoint a special prosecutor. She used her massive powers in a failed attempt to keep the honest judge from being reelected. She is conspiring to go after the enemies of Accusator Vulpes. She will do all in her power to crush them.

Jamlet is finally tried, convicted, and sentenced. Justice is served. Jamlet is removed from the courtroom after giving his soliloquy. (The orchestra and the Stultus Suffragii sing a triumphant song.)

Accusator Vulpes is infuriated. She pens a dramatic piece to be scribed and delivered throughout the land, criticizing the whole process and the sentencing.

The play ends with Prince Jamlet sitting alone in his gaol cell. He bitterly clings to a rolled-up hand towel for dear life, pretending it is a tuna sandwich. He delivers another soliloquy, holding the sandwich aloft.

“Alas, Tuna Sandwich. Otello and Moro are traitors. I am innocent. I did not do this. I am innocent. I am not suicidal. I am not suicidal. If anything happens to me, I am not suicidal.”

Chicago’s Humanitarian Heroes

We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day
                                         We can be Heroes
(Heroes/David Bowie)

All heroes do not wear capes or uniforms. Some wear chef coats.

There is no greater love than feeding people. Cooking and sharing food with people are acts of love. Cooks love to feed people. It is that simple.

One of my heroes is world-renowned chef Jose Andres. He started World Central Kitchen to feed people facing natural and human disasters. Within days, he was on the ground with his people setting up food distribution. At the Polish border with Ukraine, he worked with partner restaurants, community kitchens, and numerous volunteers to provide sustenance to refugees fleeing Ukraine.

Jose Andres is feeding people and sharing love. Jose Andres is a stellar example of harnassing the power of humanity.

In Chicago, another hero emerged. Chef Tony Priolo, the owner of Piccolo Sogno, one of this city’s most renowned Italian Restaurants, reached out to fellow owners and chefs to hold a chef-driven fundraising drive to raise money for Ukraine, donating the proceeds to World Central Kitchen. Priolo was deeply affected by the refugee crisis and Jose Andres’ efforts.

Within a short time, many replied, and Navy Pier was secured to hold the event, named, Chicago Cooks for Ukraine. 70 chefs will cook for 1000 people on March 16th. The list of chefs is a Who’s Who of culinary award winners. The event is being sponsored by Lifeway Foods. Other food purveyors are endorsing the event. They are a Who’s Who of Chicago businesses.

General admission tickets are $150.00. VIP tickets are $500.00. Sponsorship tickets range in price from $5000.00-$50,000. The sponsorships have various perks.

What is happening in Ukraine is heartbreaking. Well over a million refugees fled Putin’s terror war. Poland stepped in to assist. Other nations are providing necessities to the refugees.

We should be proud that Chicago food entities are stepping up to do something. Jose Andres did a wonderful thing when he established World Central Kitchen. Now, Chicago chefs and businesses are raising money for a great cause.

There are some good people in this city of scoundrels. People who not only empathize and sympathize but take action. The restaurant and food community banded together to raise humanitarian aid for people who suffered unimaginable horrors. They suffered the terrors of war. They uprooted their lives to leave their country, many walking on foot. They are dependent on the largesse of others.

Here is the article about Tony Priolo’s efforts. You may want to patronize some of the restaurants or other businesses stepping up to help Ukraine.

Justice for Jussie is done

“How can an individual who’s been embraced by the city of Chicago turn around and slap everyone in this city in the face by making these false claims?” (Former Chicago Police Superintendent, Eddie Johnson/WGN)

Several years ago, I was having coffee with detectives in their office. There was a thick file on the desk. I thought it might be some high-profile murder case. The sergeant told me it was the Chris Farley Death Investigation file. A comedian on SNL, Farley died of a cocaine and morphine overdose in his Michigan Avenue apartment. I had seen thinner files on major murder cases.

The brass did not want another John Belushi event when the news media, especially the tabloids, were digging up information and publishing it for the hungry, drooling, rubes, and bark chewers who inhabit this country.

Every time a piece about Farley came out, detectives were assigned to buy the paper or magazine, investigate the reportage, and submit a report. The file was so thick due to the contents of the various publications.

This brings us to Jussie Smollett, AKA Maximus Mendax. The Chicago Police Department took the case very seriously, even if at the beginning the case stunk to high heaven. Can you imagine the reporting officers calling in to check the whereabouts of Kanye West? (A proclaimed Trump/MAGA supporter at the time)

As the story spread throughout the media world and Smollett’s story quickly fell apart, the department continued to investigate, with detectives and police officers working overtime.

Kim Foxx stepped in and essentially dropped the charges as a favor to her Hollywood pals, a political powerhouse attorney, and the Smollett family. Foxx refuses to prosecute most people for felonies, lest their families are harmed for the actions of the felons.

Today Smollett faced his punishment.

“At the conclusion of a three-year firestorm of allegations he faked a hate crime attack on himself, Jussie Smollett was sentenced to 30 months of probation on Thursday for his conviction in the hoax — and he must spend the first 150 days of the sentence in Cook County Jail.” (Chicago Tribune)

Smollett’s hoax not only wasted police resources. It severely damaged the LGBQT+ community, people of color, celebrities, and others who may report hate crimes with unusual circumstances. Law enforcement may spend more resources than necessary to ensure claims of hate crimes are not a hoax.

No matter how severe or lenient, whatever penalty he received will not repair his damage to hate crime victims and investigations. Kim Foxx should be in for the severest and harshest criticism for refusing to prosecute Smollett. She showed her disdain for hate crime hoaxes.

As seen in the video above, Smollett delivered an award-winning performance stating over and over he is not suicidal. Does he think he is Jeffery Epstein?

Smollett does not deserve to live in our city. When he is released from jail, he should be shunned wherever he goes. Smollett should be humiliated to the point he leaves town for good. It is a pity we cannot legally deport him.

Smollett is now a convicted felon. There are a host of things he can no longer do. His reputation is in tatters. He brought this on himself and deserves whatever adverse consequences come his way. This sentence is an example to others who may want to perpetrate a hate crime hoax. The sentence is not retribution, as Smollett’s family and supporters claim. It is justice.

Kim Foxx claimed she will address her actions on this case after it is over. Well, it is done. I fully expect an Academy Award winning performance with some stand-up comedy thrown in for good measure.

Nomen Ludus

Deities of Ancient Rome/Artist UNK/Creative Commons /Digital Enhancement PV Bella

Chicago politicians are treated like ancient Roman deities. They are revered, worshipped, and more importantly, feared.

I do not understand why people idolize politicians. Idolizing a politician is like believing a stripper or prostitute loves you. Living in Chicago, I realized why the Great Comedian only let Noah only put animals on the ark.

In Chicago, there are too few politicians to idolize or admire. Most are deserving of disrespect and derision. They give low-lives a good name. Some elected officials provide entertainment and comedic relief when they are not plundering our pockets with taxes or grabbing graft.

Our politicians are also noted for their colorful hyperbole. Mayor Lori Lightfoot topped the cake when she remarked about her d**k size.

It is not just politicians who deserve derision. The Superintendent of Police and First deputy Superintendent are the best comedy team in town. They are running the Chicago Police Department like the Keystone Cops.

Getting angry over how this city is being run into the ground is futile since the voters have pea-sized brains. They keep electing and reelecting these people. There is only one thing to do, poke fun at them.

Chicago politicians and other notables are known for their colorful nicknames like our former outfit characters. There were Hinky Dink, Bathhouse, Gray Wolves, The Undertaker, Fast Eddy, and Big Bill, to name a few.

Columnist John Kass took things to a more academic level by using Latin nicknames. First, it was Commodious Maximus for Governor Pritzker. He recently named Mayor Lori Lightfoot Phallus Maximus due to her bragging about her d**k size.

The mayor and governor are not the only ones who deserve Latin appellations. Others in this Ventosus Urbs should have Latin nicknames. A few more than one.

So, let’s play the Nomen Ludus, The Name Game.

Populus Chicago Quiritium, amicique et cives mei, benigne me attenteque audiatis.*

Mike Madigan

  • Holoserica Malleus/Velvet Hammer
  • Torva Serpens/Grim Creeper
  • Crypta Custos/Crypt Keeper
  • Inclementia Caesar/Merciless Emperor

Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle:

  • Machina Bulla/Machine Boss
  • Magnus Maculus/Big Stick
  • Tace Malum Maga/Silent Evil Magician

Chief Judge Tim Evans

  • Dominus Ito Per/Mr. Go Along

State’s Attorney Kim Foxx

  • Minima I Adsignatos/Mini Me Minion

Regina de Mortum/Queen of Death

Alderwoman Michele Smith

  • Aureum Sibilus Ceraula/Golden Whistle Blower

Alderman Ed Burke

  • Maximus Thunnus/Big Tuna

Superintendent of Police David Brown

  • Bovis Puer/Cowboy

First Deputy Superintendent of Police Eric Carter

  • Equus Asinus/Horse’s A**

Alderman James Gardiner

  • Vitiosus Canis/Vicious Dog

Alderman Patrick Thompson**

  • Maximus Corripio Manus/Big Stealing Hands

Alderman Scott Waguespack

  • Dominus Mundus/Mister Clean

Alderman James Cappleman

  • Dominus Scire Nihil/Mister Know Nothing

The Feds

  • MaximusCurrus Legio/Big Chariot Legion

Last but not least, Chicagoans

  • Stolidus Cives Vet/Stupid Citizen Voters

*People of Chicago citizens, and my friends and fellow citizens, listen to me kindly and attentively.

**Thompson resigned due to his indictment for financial crimes.