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Author: pvbella

The Day My Grandfathers Cried

By the 1930s, it was apparent Prohibition was a failure and unenforceable. The 18th Amendment did little to stop the sale and consumption of alcohol. Organized crime became big business in America.

The government was losing necessary tax revenue during the depths of the Great Depression. Money became more important than morality. It was estimated that ending Prohibition would employ between 250,000 and 500,000 people in alcohol-related businesses, from farming, production, transportation, and the manufacturing sector.

In February of 1933, Congress passed the 23rd Amendment, repealing Prohibition. Many legislators who voted for Prohibition voted to repeal it. States voted to ratify the Amendment. It was ratified on December 5, 1933. It was the day both my grandfathers cried. They both brewed beer, made wine, cooked alcohol, and sold illegal booze.

Happy days were here again. The liquor flowed, and the people celebrated. The tax revenue rolled in. During the first year after repeal, the government collected $258 million in taxes on alcohol, 9% of that year’s tax revenues. Those additional revenues helped fund President Roosevelts New Deal programs in the years following.

Prohibition was a failure from the day it went into effect. Americans liked their alcohol and were not going to let a little old law or a bunch of religious zealots who pushed for Prohibition stop them from drinking or selling booze, beer, or wine.

The government only funded 1500 Prohibition Agents for the whole country. They were poorly paid and barely trained, leading to vast corruption, dooming enforcement from the beginning.

During Prohibition, Chicago was awash in alcohol, beer, and wine. Bootleggers ran whiskey in from Canada, besides the alcohol they produced in the neighborhoods. Prohibition gave rise to the Capone mob, which eventually became the Chicago Outfit. During and after Prohibition, the Outfit grew. Its tentacles reached into legitimate businesses, City Hall, the County Building, and the courts. They became a power unto themselves.

The Capone mob took corruption to new and higher levels in Chicago. It appeared everyone was on the take, from the cops on the beat, the prosecutors, judges, and various politicians. The mob got way more in return than they paid out.

Besides liquor, the mob ran prostitution and gambling dens, especially in some of their speakeasies. Some were like high-class casinos. Chicago was not alone in vice. Other major cities became vice havens. Americans started to blame Prohibition for the decay in society’s values and morals.

Prohibition did have some positives on American culture. It brought changes in men’s and women’s fashion, made jazz popular, and created new entertainment venues, though they were illicit. There was a sense of liberation in people going to speakeasies to drink, socialize, and be entertained. Women could drink in public in the speakeasies. Popular culture brought us the gangster genre of movies and fiction.

The “Noble Experiment” failed on all levels. Amazingly, the government took 13 years to realize its epic mistake.

Welcome to the KMA Club

Image: PV Bella

When Chicago Police officers retire, we join the KMA Club. Captain Melvin Roman retired from the Chicago Police Department after over 31 years of service. First, welcome to the best club in the world, boss. 

Roman was a former commander who was shamed, “dumped,” and demoted to captain. He wrote this email to the citywide distribution list before proudly walking out the door. It floated around social media the past few days. I was able to obtain a copy from a website to publish here.

I have no commentary on this except to offer my best wishes to Melvin Roman in his retirement.

“After over 31 years with the Chicago Police Department, my career has come to an end. I find contemplating retirement similar to contemplating life in general.

Thoughts of what has been left undone, thoughts of what I could have been done better come to mind. I’d like to think that I have always tried to do the right thing regardless of what was right.

Anyone who is a true leader will understand what I have said. My resignation as a Commander was done with this in mind. If I cannot have a voice to be heard then I have no business being in the position.

I will always be proud to say that I was a Chicago Police Officer, although I cannot be proud of our current Department. We speak about building trust with the community but do not have a trust within our own department. We speak a lot about Officer wellness and contradict that daily by missing the simplest and most basic opportunities to truly show Officers we care.

In 31 years I have never seen a Department in which the rank and file Officer is at war with the top brass administration of the Department. An administration that listens to no one, allows no one a voice, and tries to lead by the only tools they know: Fear and intimidation. Tactics which will always be doomed to fail.

A plumber on a job knows that his tools are the most important aspect of his job. An electrician knows the right tools for the job are critical. Yet here in the Department we seem to lose track of one plain and simple fact: Officers are the most important aspect of our mission.

They must have trust and faith in us as supervisors to leave the station and fulfill the missions we decide and they do that because they respect and have faith in the MEN AND WOMEN who lead, NOT the rank! This is a fact that some will never understand. Some put on the uniform and rank, and even ribbons, and think they are more important and look down on the Officers they should be holding in high esteem.”

Supervisors who have had the benefit of some of the most prestigious leadership training and still do not know the most fundamental traits of a leader: A leader must genuinely care about the people they lead. Without that you will never accomplish a mission and this Department will not change.

Some will claim they do care and maybe they do, but if your outward demeanor exemplifies disdain and a lack of respect, that is what is received. Rank should be perceived as a level of responsibility. Even though it’s also authority, you should lead by your character and not by what’s on your collar.

I have faith that at some point the Department will build itself back up and will once again be something to be proud of. I hope that many of you who will take over the Department will keep these hard facts in mind. Many will be angry and upset with my words but I promise you I offer them only out of a deep gratitude and respect for the Officers who serve the great city of Chicago and to a beloved Department which I will always love and support.

To the rank and file Officers to whom I undoubtedly owe any and all my success, I can never express my true gratitude so I will simply offer a very sincere appreciation and a huge thank you. (CWB Chicago)

Captain Santa a Chicago Christmas Story

A message in a bottle:

“Friday … everybody goodbye. I guess we are all through. During the night the small boat washed overboard. Leaking bad. Invald and Steve lost too. God help us.”

The bottle, corked with the thick stem of an evergreen, washed up on a Wisconsin shore sometime after Chicago-bound Great Lakes ships disappeared during a late November storm.

Some say the message was from the Rouse Simmons*. It could have been from one of three other lost ships that left north woods harbors the same day.

If you were a ship captain on the Great Lakes, it was never a matter of if a catastrophe would strike but when. This was especially true if you sailed in November.

The Rouse Simmons left the dock of Thompson, Michigan, for Chicago on November 22, 1912, heavily laden with cargo.

The next afternoon, the schooner was spotted by the Kewaunee, Wisconsin Life Saving station. (Approximately 185 miles south) The ship was flying its flag at half-mast, the universal sign of distress. By the time rescue boats could be launched from Two Rivers, Wisconsin, the schooner had vanished.

The Rouse Simmons was no ordinary schooner. It carried no ordinary load.

The Rouse Simmon’s part-owner and the captain was Herman E. Schuenemann, known as Captain Santa. The cargo was three to five thousand Christmas Trees. Witnesses claim the deck looked like a pine forest.

As they were known, the Christmas tree ships sailed from the Northwoods to Chicago every November, docking at the Chicago River near Clark Street. They sold trees right off the boats, making more profit than wholesaling them. The price range was .50 cents to $3.00.

The ships were festooned with electric lights and decorations on the riggings. Schuenemann would lash a tree atop the main mast of his schooner.

Herman E. Schuenemann had a long nautical career. He captained several ships. During his career, every November, he brought a load of Christmas trees to Chicago. A newspaper named him Captain Santa. Soon, Chicagoans referred to him by the nickname. This was not only due to his yearly runs but for his generosity in giving away trees to the needy and churches.

In 1910, Schuenemann purchased an interest in the Rouse Simmons. The schooner was 44 years old, possibly well past its prime to sail the Great Lakes, especially overladen during a heavy storm. Herman E. Schuenemann and his family were entrepreneurial. Aside from the trees, his wife and daughters made wreaths and boughs to sell from the schooner.

After the ship vanished, Chicago newspapers and Schuenemann’s family held out hope that he found a safe harbor along the coastline. Hope vanished weeks later when Christmas trees started washing up on the Wisconsin shoreline. The schooner had a crew of 6-8 sailors. Since lumberjacks sailed back home on the ships for the winter, the actual number of souls lost is unknown.

After the Ship perished, Schuenemann’s wife and daughters continued to sell Christmas trees off the docks. They would have them shipped to Chicago and sell them off the boat. Eventually, they had the trees shipped by train. After Ms. Schuenemann’s death, the daughters moved the operation to a vacant lot in the city.

Captain Santa provided trees to his Church, St. Pauls United Church of Christ. In 2012, the church commemorated the Centennial of the Rouse Simmons sinking and the generosity of Captain Santa.

In 1924 an oilskin packet was found in the nets of Wisconsin fishermen. The packet contained the wallet of Captain Herman E. Schuenemann. In the wallet were business cards, newspaper clippings, and some business correspondence.

The Rouse Simmons was discovered in 1971 by a wreckage search diver, Gordon Kent Bellrichard, while he was searching for another sunken vessel.

The tale of Captain Santa is one story of Chicago. It is part of the city’s maritime history. It is the story of brutal, harsh work to earn a living. It is the story of struggle, people defying nature. It is the story of Chicago’s history of generosity. It is also a cautionary Chicago tale of courage and folly. Captain Santa attempted to sail before a storm hit. As fate would have it, he sailed too late.

*The Rouse Simmons was named after the brother of a well-known Kenosha businessman. Rouse Simmons’s brother, Zalman, became the first manufacturer to mass-produce wire spring mattresses in 1876. The company became the Simmons Bedding Company, now known as Simmons Beauty Rest.

Tis the Season

Image: PV Bella

Thanksgiving is in the rearview mirror. The meal was a success, and the leftovers were just fine. I was surprised how fast people put up their Christmas decorations. Still, in pandemic mode, people need to start celebrating early.

I survived Black Friday. My debit and credit cards stayed safely in my wallet, and I stayed in my home. I hate crowds, especially the hordes of shoppers who descend on stores grabbing everything they can get their paws on. I survived Cyber Monday too. By the end of the day, there was no money spent online. I do not follow the hordes, herds, or masses of chromosomal defective morons who believe they are getting a bargain.

Hanukkah began for our Jewish brethren.  We are preparing for the Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. It seems every year there is a frenzy to shop till you drop, people buying stuff they do not need or want. It is the season of giving followed by the season of getting- those credit card bills with high-interest rates, taking all year to pay off.

The holidays create a lot of anxiety for people. Shopping for gifts, planning feasts, going to parties, drinking to excess, hangovers, praying we did not do or say anything embarrassing, who to invite or not to celebrations, decorating, what to do with the gift of fruitcake, and other significant and insignificant issues.

Let’s slow down. There is plenty of time to get things done without breaking the bank or worrying about Christmas dinner. Like anything else, remember the 7 Ps- Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. There is plenty of time to plan and prepare. You do not have to get things done in one day or at the last minute.

Make lists of the people you will buy gifts for, what to buy each, and where to shop for them, whether online or in stores. Do not waste time and effort wandering around stores or malls looking for the right gift. If stores offer gift wrapping, take advantage of it. If possible, shop local in the small businesses in your neighborhood. You can find unique gifts while supporting these entities.

You do not have to decorate your home in one day. Do it in stages. Put a few decorations inside or outside over days. Decorate to your heart’s content. Just do not turn it into a marathon chore.

Like Thanksgiving, planning the feast is difficult. Who to invite, not to invite, or whose dinner you will attend? Once again, plan and prepare. If you are entertaining, figure out now who will be invited and when the event starts. Will it be an all-day affair, brunch, or dinner? Create a menu and make a list of items you will need. Shop for the non-perishables, buying a few every time you are in the store. Order the meat or poultry ahead to ensure you will get what you want.

Prep as much as you can a few days before. Do not be shy about asking people to bring sides, alcohol, or desserts. Do not turn down offers from guests either. It makes things easier. If you are a baker, you can do much of that ahead too.

Figure out ahead of time your service. Will it be buffet or table? A buffet is more effortless if you have the space. The object of the game is to reduce stress and enjoy your holiday feast without getting frazzled or breaking the bank.

Make your Christmas merry instead of hairy.

As an aside, people leave out cookies and cocoa for Santa in hopes he will leave great gifts. Me, I leave out bourbon and bacon. I am never disappointed. Just sayin.

Holiday advice

Image: Pv Bella

The holiday season starts with Thanksgiving and goes through Super Bowl Sunday. It is a time of merriment, cheer, parties, and overindulgence. Sometimes the dissipation is of Bacchanalian proportions.

The problems with these levels of alcoholic overindulgences are extreme embarrassment, people talking, people posting things on social media, memory loss, especially if you do not remember if you made a fool of yourself, and the very real possibility you can get fired if it was a company event. There is also the dreaded hangover, for which there is no real cure.

In the spirit of all the various holidays, here is some helpful expert advice, ahem, based on my observations through the decades of holiday celebrations.

You do not have to drink every last drop of booze from every bottle at the party. Be polite. Remember etiquette. Other lushes want to drink as much if not more than you. Spread the cheer, alcohol-induced sickness, and hangovers around. Do not be a selfish savage.

If you are going to drink, stick with one kind of drink. You do not have to try everything someone puts into your hand. Forget the shots too. The fastest way to hugging the porcelain is to put all kinds of different alcohol and mixers in your system. Jell-O shots or any drinks made with fruit punch or other highly sweetened so-called juices should be avoided.

Remember, this is the age of smartphones and social media. Your boss, spouse, partner, children, or other family members will not want to see that picture of you guzzling booze from the bottle, throwing up on the carpet, or passed out on the floor cradling empties.

Speaking of smartphones, the last thing you want is your fat arsed plumbers crack or the top of your thong and tramp stamp all over Facebook because of your drunken dirty dancing, especially if the photos are tagged.

Keep yourself hydrated. Hydrated means drinking water between cocktails, not beer chasers. Nibble, snack, and eat during your course of drinking. Putting all that booze on an empty stomach is a harbinger of disaster. It may cause an all too early end to your festivities.

Do not drink and drive. God made cabs for drunks who own cars. Take a taxi or rideshare to and from your drunken revelry. Drinking and driving can have tragic or lethal consequences. If you are lucky enough to be stopped by the police, drunk driving can have costly consequences. Legal fees are not cheap. It may cost you well over ten thousand dollars if you are convicted, including fines and the vastly higher insurance rates.

Take cabs if you plan to drink. Oh, and write down your home address on your hand. If you are too inebriated to speak coherently, you can show the cab driver the address.

If you are stumbling home from a neighbor’s party and need to clear your head, the worst thing you can do is stick it into a snowbank. You may not be able to get your head out, or you may sink lower into the bank and get stuck. While your upper body is immobilized, your legs will be kicking like a dying cockroach. Aside from the various unconcerned people who will pass you by, you are a perfect target for a dog who needs a place to lift its leg. The dog owner may have a smartphone too. Then again, some people with a warped sense of humor may steal your shoes or, worse, your pants. Imagine your ugly bare feet and legs sticking out of a snowbank.

Last but not least, the dreaded hangover. Look, there are no real cures. There are ways to mitigate some of the symptoms until your body processes the overabundance of alcohol in your system. When you peel your eyelids open, sit up slowly from wherever you slept. Ease out of bed, off the floor, out of the bathtub, or off the couch.

Hydrate. Once again, hydration is water, not the hairs of the various dogs that bit you. Another good rule is to stock up ahead of time on sports drinks. Sip them slowly to get electrolytes back into your system. Go back to bed or wherever you feel most comfortable and try to get more sleep.

If you must drag your bedraggled, hungover, pale, bloodshot-eyed self into work the following day, do not ask stupid questions like, “Did I do anything foolish last night.” The pathetic looks and muffled giggling will tell you all you need to know. So will the security guard who escorts you from the building because you got fired for drunkenly and obscenely hitting on the boss’s spouse, mistress, or family member.

The holiday season is a time for merriment, cheer, and goodwill towards your fellow man. If you overdo the goodwill and cheer, you might end up working at Goodwill.

No Black Friday for me

Image: PV Bella

I never understood Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving shopping orgy. America is a nation of unenlightened halfwits, buying crap they do not need with money they do not have at supposed sale prices, loading themselves up with credit card debt for no good reason.

Consumption is an American pastime. The only American value is buying things people do not need because they are supposedly cheap.

Before dawn, people get to the big box stores and malls to stand or sit in line in the cold, waiting for the stores to open. Some bring tents or heaters. When the doors open, they run into the stores like packs of pissed-off predators. Sometimes the charge resembles the running of the bulls in Spain. Fights break out over merchandise. Then after waiting to get in the store, battling to fill their carts, people wait in long lines to check out. I just do not get it. What is the appeal?

It is hard to tell if people are buying gifts for others or more junk for themselves. They get a bigger TV than they bought last year or some other electronics with minor upgrades. They buy toys for the kiddies and all kinds of other junk. They think they are getting a deal when they are getting the shaft. Americans are easily conned. Just look at the pathetic people they vote for.

Look, most of these people spend almost every weekend at the mall. Why is Black Friday so special? Why would they spend what they do not have on sales that are anything but in one day? Then store all that junk so they can do it all over the next year.

Then there is Cyber Monday when the non-thinking schlubs can shop for supposed online bargains. The only difference between these two days is people cannot participate in America’s second pastime, stuffing their maws with junk food at the malls. Instead of corn dogs, funnel cakes, and ice cream, they are stuck with the leftover turkey and dressing.

What drives this insatiable urge to shop until you drop, and spend money you do not have on stuff that will become junk when the next sale crops up? Consumerism is not the only American pastime. Storing or getting rid of junk from the last sale runs parallel to buying. It is a never-ending cycle.

I never participated in these Black Friday sales. I hate waiting in long lines. I will not wait in a long line to get into a store or to cash out. I hate crowds, especially crowds of halfwits with their halfwit spouses and their hellspawn. I do not need or want anything so badly that I will put up with or must fight over it. I hate traffic jams in shopping areas and parking lots.

I buy my gifts throughout the year, in person or online. One by one. I put them away until it is time to wrap them. I do not buy electronic junk or other popular crap that entices the unenlightened morons.

While the mentally deficient are out all day today, waiting in lines and shopping, I am home, eating delicious leftovers for lunch. Most of my shopping is finished anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving

Image: PV Bella

“What I love about Thanksgiving is that it’s purely about getting together with friends or family and enjoying food. It’s really for everybody, and it doesn’t matter where you’re from.” (Chef Daniel Humm)

The Thanksgiving feast debate going on for over a month was finally settled. There was no debate over the “traditional” dressing, sides, potatoes, or cranberry sauce. The discussion, as in past years, was over turkey. It appears I am the only one who likes turkey. Ham was also out, as that may be the center of the Christmas feast.

I tried to compromise with boned-out turkey thighs stuffed or cooked paillard style- pounded thin and topped with shaved vegetables. That was voted down. I can understand the anti-turkey faction. Over the decades, we cooked turkey in every way conceivable. It gets boring and is more work than we want to do. There is the problem of two or three days of leftovers. Also, due to the supply chain issues, prices are higher, and turkey is about one-third waste- the bones.

This year’s choice is tri-tip roasts, two, enough to feed the small gathering of picky eaters. There will be roasted vegetables, beet greens salad, dressing- a must, sweet potatoes, and other sides. I will make the roasts and garnish them with jus and mushrooms. I may make an Italian salsa verde to accompany the roasts.

Tri-tip/Image: PV Bella

The roasts were ordered ahead and picked up. The final shopping is finished. I love shopping as much as cooking. It is where I get inspiration and make last-minute adjustments if something catches my eye.

I get nostalgic this time of year. I remember the family celebrations with my parents and extended family. There was turkey, dressing, ham, various sides, maybe a pan of lasagna or ravioli. The meal ended with a bowl of oranges, grapes, nuts, and fennel. Then, coffee and dessert were served. Christmas Day was a similar feast.

I remember the look on my parent’s faces as they spent the day putting the feast together. They were looks of joy. They were happiest watching everyone eating. It looked like so much work, but they made it look effortless. I share their passion for feeding people. I, too, am an effortless cook. Sometimes I enjoy the process more than eating the meal.

Thanksgiving is unlike any other holiday. It has no religious or patriotic connotations. It is one day when the feast is the star. It is a day we share the love by cooking to feed family and friends. It is a day set aside to celebrate gratitude.

We live in troubled times with real or contrived issues swirling around us. Sometimes it appears there is more anger and angst than joy in our lives. We forget all we have to be grateful for. Setting aside one day to celebrate gratitude. It is a quaint concept.

Maybe tomorrow, when we gather, we can leave the tumult outside, not allowing the outside world into our homes. Gather with your family and friends, enjoy the feast, share the love, and be grateful for all you have, especially the people sitting at your table.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Another attempt to free Larry Hoover

Larry Hoover/Image: Essence

Gangster Disciple gang leader Larry Hoover, 70, has been in prison since 1973. He was sentenced to 150-200 years in the Illinois prison system for murder. While in state prison, Hoover created the Folks faction of gangs, uniting many local Black, Hispanic, and the few White gangs left in Chicago under the banner. This created more opportunities for drug distribution and eliminated the violence competition causes.

In 1997, after an almost two-decade-long investigation, Hoover was convicted by the federal government for running his gang from Illinois prisons and running a 100 million dollar a year multi-state drug operation, something most in local law enforcement already knew. He was sentenced to six life sentences in prison. He was transferred to the ADX Florence supermax prison in Colorado.

The Gangster Disciples were not just a Chicago street gang. They were a super gang, a multi-state criminal enterprise specializing in narcotics, violence, extortion, and murder. They were responsible for the massive social and human destruction drugs, and drug sales caused.

There have been attempts to have Hoover released on parole for over a decade or his sentences commuted. While in state prison, he ordered his minions to change the gang’s name to Growth and Development, a supposed social, community, and political organization. This was a ploy to change the public’s perception of him. It was an attempt to get a grant of parole or commutation.

A new attempt to get Hoover out of prison was launched by Drake and Ye, formerly known as Kanye West. They announced a benefit concert at the LA Coliseum titled “Free Larry Hoover.” “The historic” concert will “raise awareness and support for Larry Hoover and the cause of prison and sentencing reform, according to the venues event page.” (Pitchfork)

Larry Hoover will never be released from prison. Even if his federal sentence is commuted, he must still serve out the rest of his 150–200-year state sentence. He is being credited by some for all the supposed good he did in and out of prison. It is all nonsense. The so-called community efforts were a sham and cover for his gang’s criminal activities. Al Capone, the last celebrity gangster, was a do-gooder too.

As a police officer, I witnessed some of the human and social destruction caused by Larry Hoover’s gang and the factions he created. It made the lives of impoverished and working poor even harder. Many young people’s lives were ruined by using the drugs his gang sold. Other young people went to prison for selling his drugs and committing other crimes, including murder under his flag.

Larry Hoover does not deserve a commutation(s), parole, mercy, or leniency. He is responsible directly and indirectly for violence, murder, and running a continuing violent criminal enterprise.

Hoover does not deserve the celebrity treatment and status he is being given. He is a career criminal and crime boss who perpetrated evil in our city and other places on a grand scale.

Problem? Problem solved

Image: PV Bella

Across this country, there are people who want someone killed. Cheating spouses, disgruntled employees, bad bosses, horrid neighbors, maybe revenge for someone killing a family member or friend, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, and or making the body disappear.

Most people do not have the fortitude, skills, or means to do the nasty work. They do not know anyone with the means and skill set to commit murder most foul, not get caught, and most important, not implicate them.

Well, like anything in this modern tech world, there is a solution. RentaHitman, “Your Point and Click Solution since 1920.”

“Since 1920,  Rent-A-Hitman has assisted satisfied clients from all walks of life ranging from regular citizens (children & adults) to government employees and even political figures.”

Rent-A-Hitman has seen it all and knows just how to handle your delicate situation precisely in a timely manner “while maintaining 100% compliance with HIPPA (Hitman Information Privacy & Protection Act of 1964) Guaranteed!”

Yes, folks, now you have an internet solution to eliminate your pesky problem. RentaHitman has a global reputation with customer service and industry awards. Gino Fanelli and his family run the site. They claim they have run the business since 1920, went online in 2005, and provided services to the public and private sectors. They tout themselves as a global crisis management firm located in Monroe County, Michigan.

The site makes it easy to hire a hitman. You fill out a service request form on the site, providing your personal and contact information. Then you fill out the Target Information section. If they accept your application, they select one of their 17,985 field operatives to get the dirty deed done.

RentaHitman is on the surface web not, the Dark Web. Pretty cool, huh. Murder is just a click away—the Amazon of murder.

Gino Fanelli is a person named Bob Innes, who lives in California. According to the Washington Post, Innes started the site in 2005. His 17,985 field operatives are the approximate number of law enforcement agencies in the United States. All serious inquiries are forwarded to law enforcement. Almost 700 people contacted him, and 400 filled out the application.

“I really didn’t think that people were gonna be that stupid. Boy, did they show me,” he says. (Rolling Stone)

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Innes said:

“It was initially redesigned to just be so over-the-top fake, nobody could be that stupid to fill out this Web form and expect to contact a hitman. I wanted to make this Web site so glaringly obvious to the normal user that this is a parody…I wanted to make it obvious to law enforcement that, hey, this is not a real website. Yet people have gone to the Web site and solicited to have other people murdered.”

Even with news stories about the site, Innes still gets inquiries. “I don’t get it,” Innes told The Washington Post. “People are just stupid.”

Yes, Mr. and Mrs. America, if you ever doubted the stupidity of your fellow Americans, the proof is people contacting RentaHitman.

How low can they go

 “What race is Ernie is Bert? You are insane PBS and we should stop funding you…” (Matt Schlapp, Chairman of The American Conservative Political Action Committee/Twitter)

“Look, it’s not just the fact that they are trying to bring race into Ernie and Bert, which — I grew up watching, I’m older than you, but I grew up watching. And it wasn’t ever about race, it was about learning lessons and learning to read and learning tolerance. And they want to inject race.” (Matt Schlapp, Chairman of The American Conservative Political Action Committee/Emphasis mine)

The above photograph is an apt depiction of Matt Schlapp and Senator Ted Cruz for their ridiculous attacks on Sesame Street.

Sesame Street is introducing a new character, Ji-Young, a Korean American, on Thanksgiving Day to “Celebrate the diversity of the Asian and Pacific Islander communities.” The character is described as “rocking out on her electric guitar and skateboarding.” She is pretty much a typical American kid living in an imagined typical American diverse urban neighborhood.

In the realm of, you gotta be f**king kidding me, CPAC Chairman Matt Schlapp attacked Sesame Street and demanded PBS be defunded. The reason for his brutal attack? The introduction of the Asian-American character to the cast. It is evident Schlapp does not know the definition of the word tolerance. Maybe he should ask his Cuban American wife, Mercedes.

Earlier this month, freedumb loving Cuban Canadian American, Senator Ted Cruz- Cancun Cruz- tweeted that Sesame Street was “government propaganda for your… 5-year-old” after Big Bird announced he received the COVID vaccine.

Sesame Street is targeted as Public Enemy Number One for doing what they have been doing for over fifty years, providing educational entertainment for children and adults.

The freedumb loving Schlapp doubled down attacking Big Bird. “It’s not just that,” he added, “We also have Big Bird touting the vaccine, stuff that you never really saw Sesame Street get into.” (Mediaite) Mediate pointed out that several years ago, Big Bird promoted the measles vaccine.

CPAC then tweeted that Big Bird, Bert, and Ernie were not invited to the CPAC 2022 Kindergarten Jamboree. It’s not like the characters would want to be invited to or attend a competing puppet show.

Attacking puppets is ridiculous. Schlapp and Cruz revel in outrageous behavior. It appears their only function is to amuse while trying to destroy. How can any sane, intelligent person take this duo seriously?

Sesame Street sometimes brings up difficult topics, telling stories in compelling ways that parents and children can relate to and discuss. This is nothing new. What is wrong with an all-American Korean American character or Big Bird touting vaccines for children during a lingering pandemic?

With all the problems in this country, these two buffoons pick on a children’s educational television show. CPAC is an extreme right-wing clown academy with Schlapp as its ringmaster. It is apparent Cruz is their summa cum laude graduate and valedictorian.

Matt Schlapp is not an elected official, so his “we” should stop funding PBS holds no water. He has no power to do anything. PBS has real power. They have people power, the millions of people who tune in every day for their programming. Those millions of people go by another name, voters.

Public figures like Schlapp makes one wonder if the Know-Nothings are returning from the grave. Are the nativists walking among us? When will this Know-Nothing nativist divorce his Cuban American wife, Mercedes, to prove he is a true, red, white, and blue ‘Merican?

We already know the Cuban Canadian American Cruz is a publicity prostitute. He will turn a cheap trick for any publicity he can garner. To guys like Cruz, there is no such thing as bad publicity. Keeping your bearded mug in the news is always a positive.

Matt Schlapp and Ted Cruz are devoid of decency, civility, and honor. Instead of putting forth civil, intelligent criticism, they act like snarling junkyard dogs. They are smart enough to know their fake anger is red meat for the ignorant who walk among us. That is the limit of their intelligence.