Going to wakes is a ritual in Chicago. Aside from family members and close friends, we attended wakes of people we knew, sometimes even if we did not like them. The saying in Chicago is, “You go to the wake.”
You went to the wake for the family, not the stiff in the casket. What the fuck do they know? They are dead.
Now, we celebrate the life of the deceased. We changed the language of the ritual. People no longer die. They transition or pass. Kidney stones pass, not humans. Transition sounds more comfortable than kicked the bucket. What do people transition to?
Wakes are celebrations of life with photo arrays and televisions displaying photos and videos of the deceased with family, friends, or pursuing things they enjoyed before croaking. Some are so elaborate they resemble documentaries.
Maybe, in this age of technology, someone will create video games to celebrate the stiff. People can play games going through the life of the deceased, winning prizes along the way. Free embalming for their wake or free mass cards. Maybe a free hole in the ground.
Once you get past the family and the sorry for your loss comments, the wake becomes a social occasion. You meet, greet, and socialize with people, some of who you may not have seen for years. You chat. If food is available, you snack. You spend one minute with the deceased’s family and maybe an hour or more talking to people about everything except the stiff in the casket.
Years ago, there were notable funeral homes in Chicago. Some offered postcards, as that industry was prominent in the city, and postcards were popular. So what does one do with a postcard from a funeral home? Send it to a friend or family member- “Having a wonderful time, wish you were here?”
Since wakes are more joyous occasions, funeral homes will probably have WalMart like greeters at the door. “Welcome to Donovan’s. Happy grieving.”
I go to very few wakes these days. The deceased has to be a family member, a close friend, or a family member of a close friend. I attend memorial services. I can think of way better places to socialize than a funeral home.
I made it very clear to my family that I do not want a wake. Just toss me in a box and cremate me. Stuff my pockets with high-powered fireworks to scare the shit out of the crematorium employees.
Have gourmet food and a drunken party to celebrate my life. Better to have fun than to mourn.