“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” (Lauren DeStefano)
Fall is in full swing. The days are getting chilly, with a few Yoyo warm days. Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the crisp, clean weather.
Fall is the best season. It is significantly better than spring. The sunlight is different and more pleasant in the fall. On cloudless days, the light is not as harsh as the overbearing summer sunlight. The sky becomes an artist’s palette, with hues of pink, orange, and purple clouds at sunrise and sunset.
The trees change colors to yellows, oranges, reds, and eventually brown. They are works of art. Someone once wrote that “The leaves become flowers in the fall.” Fall is nature in all its glory. Eventually, the trees will become bare. Many will look like twisted gnarly Ents suffering from rheumatoid arthritis.
Birds migrate south for the winter. Honking geese fill the skies with their vee formations. If you are lucky, you can see flocks of starlings swirling in their formations. The swirling is called murmuration. It is a joy to see.
We eat heartier foods like stews, soups, various roast meats, fowl, chili, and other comfort foods. The harvest puts seasonal products for us to savor. Ovens and slow cookers get used to make savory hearty meals. You can go apple picking or pumpkin harvesting. We cook and enjoy food more. It is too uncomfortable to eat well in the humid heat of summer.
Fall is the harbinger of death in the seasons. We dread the thought of Chicago winters. The harsh crunch of walking on snow and ice replaces the crackly pleasantness of walking on fallen brown leaves. The hawk assaults us with its deadly blasts. We suffer. We squeeze every ounce of pleasure and beauty out of fall, knowing winter’s nasty bite will make us miserable.
There are some drawbacks to fall. That f**king nasty fake pumpkin spice s**t that drooling, slobbering idiots and less-ons (Lower than morons) line up for at those oh-so-precious coffee shops. Candy corn, which resembles rat pellets and has the texture of earwax, is another horrid treat that makes its presence in the fall. Then there are the pi**ed off parents on Halloween who curse at you for running out of candy for their crotch critters.
Fall starts football season. Since the McCaskey Bears want to move out of the city, I thoroughly despise them and their evil, greedy, cheapskate, and chiseling owners. I root for their opponents, causing some consternation in my local drinking establishment. I want to see their QB and back up QBs get taken out for the season. Yeah, I wish for harm. I have no pity or mercy for Ken Dolls. The pork sword grand spawn of George Halas are despicable orcs.
Get out and enjoy the season. Appreciate the artistry of fall. Take in as much as possible because winter is coming. Winter is the season of bit**ing and moaning in Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, those first snows are pretty until they turn into gray, sooty, and dog p**s yellow slush piles. We will slip, slog, and slosh our way everywhere in misery.
The gray winter days will weigh heavily on us, causing SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder or, as it is known, S**tty All Day Disorder.
Happy fall.