It is November. The weather is warmish, and fall is still in all its glory. It is time to discuss something unmentionable to many people. The upcoming holiday feasts are on the horizon. So is turkey terror, the paralyzing effect of cooking that big fu**king bird(BFB) for the first time. Turkey terror is a fear, not grounded in reality, that the feast will be a disaster. It does not have to be this way.
Remember the military axiom: P*ss poor prior planning leads to p*ss poor performance. Start preparing for the holiday meals now, especially if you have never cooked a turkey before. Stores are getting ready for the holidays, and you should too. Preparing for the feast can be challenging and a lot of work. There is no need to kill yourself or your wallet.
Now is the time to plan your feast, especially if you are doing it for the first time. The best way to plan is to create your menu, find recipes, and list all the ingredients you need. Every time you go to the grocery store, pick up a few non-perishable items and cross those off your list. Put them in a box, bin, or empty shelf, so you will know where they are for the big day.
The grocery stores will set up displays of those non-perishable goods. Many will be on sale until the day(s) gets closer. Stock up. This year, due to inflation and some continuing supply chain issues, those sales may not be as generous as in years past, but products will still be less expensive than waiting for the week or two before the big day.
Decide ahead of time if you are buying a frozen or fresh turkey. A frozen turkey takes a long time to defrost, so buy it ahead of time if that is your choice. Allow 1.5 pounds per person since about 1/3 of a turkey is waste- bones. Predictions are turkeys- both fresh and frozen- will be expensive this year. Who says you must serve turkey? Ham or another roast are suitable substitutes. Hell, roast a chicken or two.
Prepare side dishes and dressing a day or two ahead. Heat them while the turkey is resting after you pull it out of the oven. Do not be shy about asking people to bring side dishes or desserts. It means less work and expense for you. If guests offer, accept their generosity. You do not have to prepare everything.
Timing is everything. Figure out the approximate time the turkey or other protein will come out of the oven and the resting time. That is the time you will serve dinner. If you want guests to come earlier, figure out some light appetizers and drinks. I would stick with wine and excellent beer. Thanksgiving is not supposed to be a drunken booze and puke fest.
If you never roasted a turkey, practice roasting chickens. If you can properly roast a chicken, you can roast a turkey. Even try roasting a duck. They are usually frozen, so you can practice proper thawing procedures. The turkey is just a bigger fowl and takes longer to cook.
Here are some tips for roasting that BFB. These are just the basics. Do not get fancy schmancy with brining or slathering butter if this is your first time. Plain salt and pepper and a few other ingredients are acceptable.
If roasting a frozen turkey, allow one day for every 4-5 pounds of turkey to thaw in the fridge. Put the turkey in a pan on a rack on the bottom shelf of the fridge.
The day before, remove the wrapping and giblets package. Blot the turkey with paper towels inside and out. Put it back in the fridge. This will dry the skin. Dry skin browns nicer for presentation.
On the day of, remove the turkey an hour before cooking and let it sit on the counter for 30-45 minutes. This will bring the bird close to room temperature. Preheat your oven to 450 F.
Season the turkey liberally inside and out with salt and pepper. You can put some herbs- parsley, sage, rosemary- onion and orange wedges in the cavity, along with a stick or two of butter (this will enhance your sauce/gravy)
Put the bird in the oven. After 15 minutes, lower the oven to 350 F. Figure 13-15 minutes per pound from the time you put the turkey in. Note: if you put the BFB in the oven right out of the fridge, cooking time will be longer.
Check the temp with an instant-read thermometer in the thick part of the thigh- do not touch bone. It should read 165 F. (The thighs take the longest to cook.) If you make a slit where the thighs meet the body the heat will penetrate evenly.
Remove the bird, cover loosely with foil, and let it rest 30-40 minutes depending on the size of the bird.
While that BFB is resting, heat your sides and prepare your sauce/gravy, using the pan drippings. Usually the week of Thanksgiving, stores have turkey wings. You can use those to make the stock for your gravy/sauce or buy turkey stock.
Who says you have to roast a turkey? You can buy whole legs and bone in breasts. Braise the turkey over vegetables and a liquid. Google braised turkey. There are an infinite number of recipes. The photo above is a Moroccan-style braised turkey I did some years back for Thanksgiving.
Where is the rule that turkey is the only protein for Thanksgiving? Ham or other roasts are just as good. Traditions are made to be broken. So, if you do not want to attempt that BFB, choose something else.
Start planning, prepping, and practicing now.
If you are dead set on roasting that BFB, here is a video by the master.