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Da Bears are losers Da Bears are losers

Photo: PV Bella

Hi, my name is Peter. I am a recovering Bears Fan. I stopped rooting for the Chicago Teddy Bears since the preseason. It feels good to be clean and sane.

Ever since the McCaskey’s decided to leave Chicago, I left their Ken Dolls. I am a fan of whatever team plays the Bears. I revel in the Bears’ losses.

The corrupt sports media in this city of scoundrels do what they do best. Glorify the Bears. They never ever criticize the losses. They may as well be on the McCaskey’s payroll, if they are not already.

The sports media loves throwing out those oh so pornographic statics to make the Ken Dolls look like winners instead of losers. Somebody should tell the sports writing cheer leaders that statistics do not win games. Someone should remind those statistic self-pleasuring sportswriters that losing is losing and there is no upside to it. Losing is never good, no matter the stats.

They are talking about is Justin Fields as if he is the second coming of Christ. Fields this, Fields that, Fields yardage, blah, blah, blah. THE BEARS LOST. Field’s stats are meaningless, except to him. Stats do not win games. Teams do. Again this team LOST.

It would be refreshing if there were a few courageous sports journalists who would criticize and rip apart the Bears for losing. It is called the truth. Alas, that kind honest of journalism died long ago in this city Hell, sportswriters may as well dress in cheerleading costumes prancing and dancing with pompoms on the sidelines, cheering their losers on.

Worse, I had to sit in a bar with slobbering, bark-chewing, genetically defective peckerhead Bears fans, cheering every play the Bears made. They proudly wore their Bears’ paraphernalia, pounded their chests like apes, and screamed at the televisions when the Bears got a penalty. Geez, they are dumber than the average American voter.

Maybe someone could come up with derogatory inappropriate Bear’s fans jokes. How about Karen-style Smudge the Cat memes? Maybe Mattel could create a line of pretty boy Ken Doll Bears players. Or how about cuddly Beanie Baby Bears? Oh, Build a Bear plush, squishy Bears, like the team, its coaches, management, and owners.

The year George Halas died was the death knell of the Monsters of the Midway. When the gambling, arrogant, and Chicago-hating McCaskey grandspawn took over, the Bear’s days of toughness, grit, and spirit died a slow death. They are not even a mere shadow of their former selves.

I am glad I no longer root for that pathetic excuse for a team and sports organization. I hope they keep losing and go from famous to infamous. That would be a wonderful thing.

I would rather watch rugby or soccer. Those are real football players.

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