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More Joy to come in Chicago

I firmly believe in people living their best life, especially during Chicago’s Summer of Joy. I found this great PSA for getting true joy out of your urban life.

I got on the El Saturday to attend an event on the Near Northside. The car was full of boisterous obnoxious young people drinking alcoholic beverages. They were so loud, at the first stop, I switched cars. It did no good. At every stop, more half-drunk loud obnoxious people boarded the train, with their alcoholic beverages. They all had one thing in common. They were going to Lollapalooza.

The Department of Public Health issued warnings about fentanyl-laced illegal drugs sold at the music festival and on the beaches. There were fentanyl test kits available so concert and beachgoers could test the illegal drugs they bought. They could experience a safe, “higher” sense of Chicago joy.

Then Her Royal Mayorship, Lori Lightfoot, the Queen of Joy, announced another ten-year deal for the music festival. Oh, joy. Just what Chicago needs, another ten-year bread and circus.

Before that, she announced NASCAR would hold a street race in Chicago next year. More Joy. Unfortunately, she told no one of her plot, not even the aldermen of the two wards affected by that joyful event. She did it all in secret, behind closed doors, in the proverbial smoke-filled back rooms. It was the old-school Chicago Way wheeling and dealing. Maybe we should nickname Lori Lightfoot “Old School.”

There was the announcement about the various plans, plots, and schemes to remodel Soldier Field, in dashed hopes to keep the cheapskate and chiseling McCaskey Bears in Chicago or to turn the stadium into some other type of venue. More Joy.

While Mayor Old School is providing bread and circuses, the city is burning around her. She threw public safety under the bus. The Chicago Police Department is being led by a total incompetent who is a legend in his own cowpoke mind.

What will she dream up next for her PR firm, the Chicago news media, to glorify? They too threw public safety under the bus for the crumbs of bread and the circus animal droppings coming from Her Mayorship. They eagerly eat and fight over those joyful crumbs and droppings like Chicago’s flying rats, the pigeons.

Armed robberies and carjackings are rising. Other violent crimes are up. Arrests are way down. People do not feel safe. Anyone in any neighborhood can be an innocent victim of a violent crime. There is no safe in Chicago. But there is plenty of joy to spread around. I bet the families and mourners of violent crime victims are not feeling joyful about Lightfoot’s imperial proclamations of future joy to come to Chicago.

In the early hours, muscle cars take streets over doing donut contests on weekends. Now, hundreds of motorcycles take over the streets and sidewalks in broad daylight. Chicago is a lawless city. Anything goes as long as it creates joy.

Since she is acting like a bread and circus Roman empress, maybe she should start dressing like one. She should acquire a closet full of bespoke togas and sandals to wear in public. Maybe even a few crowns of realistic faux laurel leaves instead of those pork pie hats she sports.

Her City Council dais could be raised high above the alderpersons, also known as the Corydon*  Circus Maximus. The Alderpersons and gallery should rise at the start of every meeting, as she makes her grand entrance, and sing her praises. “Hail Lightfoot, Hail Lightfoot, All Hail the Harbinger of Joy.” Hell, blue toga-clad police officers and firefighters should carry her to the dais on a palanquin, while pipers play.

Hail Imperial Mayor Maximus Gaudium, the mayor of Great Joy.

*Corydon is Latin for clown.

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