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Tag: Fall

Fall is here

Image: PV Bella

It is official, Autumn arrived. The temperatures quickly dropped from ninety to fifty-five degrees like it saw a state trooper. Fall also brings some horrible seasonal specialties, like pumpkin spice. Drooling dipshits, wait in long lines for the first pumpkin spiced drinks. 

That chain coffee shop, Spewfucks, or something like that, introduced pumpkin spice drinks years ago. Their devoted fans can never get enough. If they could get the raw product, they would be using it like meth addicts. Pumpkin spice is everywhere, even in beer and liquors. There is only one place for pumpkin spice, in pumpkin pies.

As September moves into October, another horrible treat becomes popular., Candy Corn. This is one of the most disgusting candies ever made. Yet, people are raving fans of it. The cruelest ones give it out to children on Halloween. Chicken Feed was the original name of this horrid product. Chickens are smarter than humans. They would not eat this crap.

Halloween costumes should be in the stores by now. Social media will erupt with the Instagram and Pintrest crafters who make their own. We will be plagued by photos and videos of some of the ugliest costumes that trendoids think are the latest Halloween fashion challenge.

People will decorate their homes with pumpkins, corn stalks, and an assortment of witches, ghosts, goblins, skeletons, and other Halloween creatures. This will lead into Thanksgiving décor, with turkeys, pilgrims, more pumpkins and corn stalks. There will be inflatables on many front lawns. Some will start their Christmas decorations in October to get in the mood.

Stores will be ramping up for Christmas shopping. They start earlier every year. Soon, they will start after the Fourth of July. People are being encouraged to shop now due to supply chain shortages and ships idling at sea, with long waits to get into ports. Shop till you drop and make your home temporarily look like a hoarder lives there.

Fall is also the time to get in shape for the winter sport of snow shoveling. The leaves fall from the trees, necessitating the autumn exercise craze of raking and hauling. The sound of leaf blowers will be music to the ears of many, especially those who own those annoying devices.

We will be hauling out the warmer clothing, hoping it fits. There are long sleeves, sweaters, woolens, down, and other puffy coats, gloves, hats, and scarves. Most summer clothing will be packed away, except for a few items for those rare warm days. Winter coats will get washed or dry cleaned, as they were not before being stored. Boots will replace sandals, and we will no longer be tormented by ugly feet and toes.

Our eating habits will change. Comfort foods like roast chicken, meatloaf, stews, soups, pot pies, and other heartier meals will be the norm. We will stay home as the weather turns cold and more of us will cook. That is a positive thing.

The skies will get grayer, and so will our moods. Every sunny day will bring joy, no matter how cold it gets.

Fall is my favorite season. My only wish is for pumpkin spice and Candy Corn to disappear, along with the people who promote them and the people who imbibe them. Maybe there is another city we can deport them and their purveyors to.

Time Flies

Image: PV Bella

And just like that, summer is almost over. In a few weeks, autumn will be upon us. This summer blew by like a derecho.  I remember the first day of summer like it was yesterday. Labor Day, the harbinger of Autumn, is right around the corner.

Speaking of Labor Day. It is a day we usually recognize Organized Labor. This year we should expand the celebration to honor all the essential workers who risked their health to keep the rest of us going during the COVID pandemic. Medical professionals and personnel should be singled out for special praise for their heroic round-the-clock labors.

School started Monday. Parents are relieved their children will be out of the house yet concerned that schools may cause further spread of COVID. Their fears are not unfounded since CPS and CTU complicated the return with their petty bickering. No one knows how safe the precautions are.

Football season is nigh, though the Bears are not near and dear to my heart due to the terrible management by the bumbling McCaskey Family. Baseball season will continue until the boys of summer become the boys of fall. The Cubs are being flushed down the toilet. Sunday’s 13-1 loss to the Sox was an embarrassment. The Sox are going into the post-season. Maybe Chicago will see another World Series.

Fall is the time of year when the multi-ingredient coffee aficionados start adding f**cking pumpkin spice to their concoctions. Pumpkin spice will be everywhere and in everything. The stuff is fake, synthetic. It was developed in a lab, not a kitchen. It tastes horrible, but stupid lemmings have no taste. If someone told them they could get high on pumpkin spice, they would snort or shoot it. Someone in Bubbaland will promote pumpkin spice to prevent or cure COVTD. At least it is safer than horse dewormer.

The willingly unvaccinated in Chicago are helping drive up the COVID numbers. Mask wearing, social distancing, and stay the f**k away from me are my mantras again. It could be a long fall and winter if the cases keep rising.

Luckily our elected officials and most of the citizens in Chicago are not freedumb lovers. We do not see the dramatic rise in numbers like parts of Illinois, the South, and Southwest portions of the country.

Handling COVID is the only positive thing Chicago politicians and bureaucrats did during this summer of violence, incompetence, stumbling, and bumbling. The mayor is out of touch, the city council is useless, and parts of the city are turning into third-world type war zones, especially at night.

The leaves will start changing colors, then dropping off. The weather will cool down, and when all is baren, we will prepare for winter. COVID is not going away, and with the fall comes flu season. It is a pity our politicians and public health officials must beg people to get vaccinated. Maybe they could promise people a pumpkin spice non-dairy soy vegan mocha decaf latte made with socially conscious sustainable beans if they get jabbed.

Yeah, winter is coming too. I m hoping the days and weeks slow down. Summer blew by way too fast. I want to enjoy a long mild fall before the blast of winter drives us indoors.