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Author: pvbella

Disappointment and achievement

“…X formerly known as Twitter.” The morons in the news media keep using that phrase. Twitter became X in April, five months ago. The moronic news people think its readers are illiterate less-ons- lower than morons. Geez, how many times do they believe they have to remind us over and over and again that Twitter is X?

The McCaskey Ken Dolls did not fail to disappoint their mentally handicapped, drooling, slobbering peckerhead fans. They lost to the Kansas City Chiefs 41-10. I cheered Ken Doll’s loss with gusto. The only more humiliating game was the Dolphins beating the Broncos 70-20. The record for most points in a game is 72 points by Washington in 1966.

The McCaskey’s do not care about winning. They only care about making the big bucks and spending as little as possible. The best thing they can do for the Ken Doll fans is to sell the team to people who want to win. The McCaskeys took the Ken Dolls from the Monsters of the Midway to the Sob Sisters of Soldier Field.

The Cubs so far have a wild card slot for the postseason. They will arrive in Atlanta on Sunday night in possession of the third and final National League wild card. FanGraphs’ projections give the Cubs a 55.5% chance of making the playoffs. The Miami Marlins, who are one game back, are at 52.5% Six games separate the Cubs and a return to the postseason… They must rack up wins against two teams already locked into the playoffs. The Cubs made things harder on themselves with a dreadful two-week stretch leading into their final homestand but are still where they want to be.

International soccer star Megan Rapinoe will leave her national team career a winner. The captain of the US Team played her last game here in Chicago at Soldier Field. The US beat South Africa 2-0, capping off a terrific career for Rapinoe. Rapinoe won gold medals with the national team in the 2012 London Olympics, scoring three goals and a team record of four assists. She is the first male or female player to score a goal from a corner. She did it twice.

I do not care about her politics or activism. She is an outstanding athlete and a star soccer player. Playing her last game in Chicago was an honor for our city.

Unlike fake “professional football,” soccer is a real sport. It’s a tough sport. Not one NFL player would last over fifteen minutes on a soccer pitch. Soccer players are athletes. Football players are actors. The only reason they call it professional football is because the actors get paid.

Where is Royko’s Statue*

PHOTO: Chicago Tribune

Today, Mike Royko would have been 91 years old. I reprised this column to celebrate his birthday.

“Find a writer who has something American to say, and nine times out of ten you will find he has some connection with the Gargantuan abattoir by Lake Michigan- he was bred there, or got his start there, or passed through there when he was young and tender.” (Henry L. Mencken/American Mercury 1933)

Mike Royko had something to say, a lot to say. Finding a writer with something American to say is harder and harder these days. Journalists or columnists who know the streets, saloons, alleys, Els, working stiffs, and the real people who make this city great are rare. Finding one who can talk like and appeal to them is even rarer. Oh, there are a few still out there, still barely hanging on. But for how long?

In 1963, the Chicago Daily News gave a gawky, goofy-looking guy his own column. That guy went on to enrage, enlighten, and entertain Chicago for over 30 years. That guy was Mike Royko. There was a petition on to erect a statue of Mike Royko. “Chicago, the greatest city, deserves a statue of Mike Royko, its greatest columnist.”

The Chicago School of Journalism started its slow death on April 29th, 1997, when Mike Royko died. All that is left is to give Chicago journalism the last rites, drive a stake through its heart, and cremate it.

Royko was the best columnist in the country when he was alive. He was the preeminent chronicler of Chicago, its politics, people, and the Chicago Way. Any and every topic was fodder for a Royko column. A former colleague and friend of mine was the subject of one of his columns. (Subscription may be required.) No one did it better at the time.

“Dijareadroyko” was on the lips of many Chicagoans daily. On public trans, in the workplace, on the street, in the diners and bars, and whispered in City Hall. No matter how big or powerful, he could and would sting you. No matter how low or insignificant, he could champion your cause.

Like our mayors, politicians, and bureaucrats, Royko was a guy people loved to hate and hated to love. He could make you laugh, cry, or get angry, sometimes in the same column.

Royko, like most Chicago artists, was prodigious. Royko wrote a column five days a week for over thirty years. His columns were syndicated in over 600 newspapers. He wrote over 7500 columns. He also wrote a column for Reader’s Digest called “That’s Outrageous.”

Royko started his column with the Daily News. When that paper folded, he went to the Chicago Sun-Times. He eventually landed at the Chicago Tribune, a paper he said he would never work for. He left the Times because someone he thought was odious bought it.

Royko was fearless. He did not care about the powers that be or being “offensive,” whatever that means. Being offended is a personal choice. Others are not responsible for the choices people make. Mike Royko was human, which means he was not perfect. As the Son of the Great Comedian the once said, “Let he who is perfect cast the alley apple*.”

Mike Royko was a son of Chicago. Many thought he was a son of a something else. He was born, raised, and lived his life here until he moved to the leafy suburbs, where city people go to wait to die.

Aside from his political columns, Mike Royko was a champion of the little guy, the oppressed, the victims of the Chicago Way, the blue-collar ethnic working-class, and the poor. He gave people who had no say a voice.

Royko’s good friend Studs Terkel, summed up his legacy:

“He was possessed by a demon. How else to explain the tavern keeper’s kid, in a world he never made, a world compressed into one, cockeyed wonder of a city; of “haves” kicking the bejeepers out of “have-nots”; of Jane Addams and Al Capone; of Florence Scala, a neighborhood heroine, and Richard J. Daley- and of Slats Grobnik, for God’s sake. Royko was the right one in the right city at the right time: to tell us in small tales what this big, crazy world in the last half of the twentieth century was all about. And the devil made him do it.” (The Best of Mike Royko One More Time/University of Chicago Press)

There is a statue of a mere gossip columnist, Irv Kupcinet, and statues of beloved sports announcers, Harry Caray, and Jack Brickhouse. There is no statue for another beloved Chicago columnist, Ann Landers (Eppie Lederer). It is past time for her to have a statue, too.

Royko was a devotee of 16-inch softball, the only softball in Chicago. I still do not know why 12-inch softball is not banned in this city. By the way, who wears gloves to play softball? I guess the powers that be do not want to offend the Wussie community. They might cry, protest, and band together to form an organization- Little Balls Matter, LBM.

Maybe a statue of Royko holding a sixteen-inch softball aloft like Hamlet holding the skull of “Poor Yorick,” would be cool. Royko would appreciate the Shakespearean element. When I shared the petition on Facebook, an acquaintance, the Geriatric Genius, stated the statue should be in front of City Hall, with Royko giving it the finger. It could be put on the ugly concrete flower partition in the middle of the street.

Mike Royko deserves a statue. If not a sculpture, a permanent mural, or mosaic mural would be lovely. Chicago has talented artists who would do justice to the project.

If we can erect a statue of a mere gossip columnist, we should have one for Royko, who contributed so much commentary, laughter, anger, and entertainment to the people of this city. Then, we can talk about a statue of Ann Landers.

*For those who came to Chicago from some place else, calling people by their last names is a long-held and cherished Chicago tradition.

*Alley apple: Any hard thing found in an alley. Bricks, pieces of concrete, chunks of coal, stones, etc. Anything that would break windows, heads, or bones.

The Chicago Ken Dolls lost

Away, Chicago Bears
Make every day a day for treachery
Away, Chicago Bears
Put up a fight with a mite so cowardly
We’ll never forget the way you duped the nation
With your $$$ formation
Away, Chicago Bears
And let ’em know why you’re clowns with no crowns
You’re the shame and misery of our city
Chicago Bears, away!

Fakeball season opened yesterday. The McCaskey Ken Dolls did what they always do, lost against the Greenbay Cheeseheads. The Chicago sports journalists hyped the Ken Dolls all week. They never learn.

I was sitting in a bar to watch the Cubs win. I wound up watching the Bears after the Cub’s game. The knuckle dragging, drooling, mentally, deficient average Ken Dolls fans cheered everything the team did. They even hooted and hollered if a team member drank something.

They wore their Ken Doll regalia with pride, not realizing charlatans and frauds ripped them off. There were a few barely more intelligent fans cheering for the Cheeseheads.

Baseball is a sport for people with intelligence. Football is for the Ogs and Groks of the world. It is as legitimate as “professional” wrestling. The only reason it is a professional sport is because the actors get paid to perform.

The general tone in the locker room was disappointment coupled with some version of, ‘It’s only Week 1.’ A little while ago, it was ‘only the preseason.’ If it keeps looking like this, it soon will be, ‘It’s only Week 5. It’s only Week 12. ‘ It’s only January.’ (Sun-Times.)

During an after-game presser, quarterback Justin Fields apologized for the team’s miserable performance. Excuses will keep coming week after week, month after month. Neanderthal fans will suck them up like mother’s milk until the very end. The usual mantra will solemnly be chanted- “Wait till next year.” You gotta love true believers. They provide so much comedic entertainment.

Speaking of the press, can they please stop touting Field’s statistics when the team loses? Statistics do not win games. This love affair with Fields and his stats is getting syrupy. Stats are meaningless if you do not win.

The cheapskate and chiseler McCaskeys continue their quest for new stadium as a new season opens. They are hitting brick walls. Rightfully so. They want someone else to foot most of the bill for the “privilege” of hosting their Ken Dolls. The McCaskeys want to put up as little money as possible. They squeeze a penny so tight they make Old Abe scream.

The skinflint McCaskeys are trying to get tax breaks from their Arlington Heights stunt. Those talks are going nowhere. Other towns are courting them. So far, there is no new stadium in the future. The Brandon administration is trying to keep the Ken Dolls here. There are talks of improving Soldier Field, including adding a dome. Of course the tight wad McCaskeys will demand the taxpayers foot the whole bill for the “privilege” of keeping their miserable team in the city.

There is no reason taxpayers should subsidize the McCaskeys. They should get nothing from us. Not one red cent. If the Ken Dolls want a new stadium or improvements for Soldier Field, they and/or the NFL should put up all the dough. It is time for the city to realise the McCaskeys have no love for this city. They only love the color of all the money they try to keep.

Put up or shut up. Ask not what the city can do for the Ken Dolls. Ask what the Ken Dolls can do for the city.

Give me a break

“The City of Highland Park is partnering with the Alliance for Human Services, Family Focus, Moraine Township, and the Highland Park Community Foundation to host a poverty simulation event to increase residents’ understanding and awareness of what it is like to live in poverty in Lake County. The simulation will be held on Saturday, September 9, 9:00 – 11:30 AM at the Highland Park Country Club (1201 Park Ave. W.)

Participants in this immersive experience will begin to experience what a “month” in poverty feels like. Participants are put into situations in which they do not have enough resources and are forced to make difficult choices that can negatively impact them and their families. The outcome is increased awareness of the need for resources to support those living in poverty to create a more resilient health, human, and education sector in our local area. Participation is free, but registration is required.” (City of Highland Park/Facebook)

This event is being organized/sponsored by the Alliance for Human Services, Family Focus, Moraine Township, Highland Park Community Foundation, and Highland Park.

In the realm of you just cannot make this s**t up. Imagine, if you will, groups of suburbanites wiling away a few pleasant hours in their wealthy suburb pretending to spend a month in poverty. Gee, some may even give up an afternoon of golf at their exclusive clubs to play poor people. They will pretend to make choices with few resources to experience what it is like to live in poverty. Oh, how f**king noble.

Are they going to pretend to live in substandard housing in a food desert? Are they going to pretend what it’s like when there is more month at the end of the money? Will there be screaming hungry children driving them mad? Will they unleash their experienced anger on their loved ones?

I read about and took part in some of these ridiculous games. Games are what they are. They are not educational and are meaningless. Some are fun. Poverty is anything but fun. I worked in impoverished neighborhoods as a police officer. I saw poverty as close-up as you can get on a daily basis. No game or make-believe can replicate living in poverty, especially when you show up wearing your designer clothes, jewelry, and drive up in your expensive car.

Afterwards, they can go to some fancy restaurant or cocktail lounge and discuss their “experience” while sipping fine wine and eating gourmet food. Yeah, they will have an “increased awareness” alright. By the next day, they will go on with their coddled lives as usual.

This is proof there are suckers born every minute. A friend summed this up very well on Facebook.

UNBELIEVABLE! What a bunch of frauds! You’ll all go to this event (So you can feel better about yourselves and PRETEND you experienced poverty) Then you’ll go back to your upper middle-class homes and sit in the backyard sipping Cosmopolitans lamenting how “Those People” live like that every day! THIS IS POSITIVELY OBSCENE AND GROSS.

*Less-on is lower than a moron

Inquiring minds want to know

12th District Police Station

When asked for comment about the child’s death White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre on Monday expressed condolences to the child’s family. She also criticized Abbott’s actions as dangerous and unlawful… It is unfortunate that [Abbott] continues to do this and it doesn’t just put, sadly, young migrants at risk, but it also puts at risk, the border patrol who are trying to do their job and he gets in the way of that every day, Jean-Pierre said. (Block Club Chicago/Emphasis mine)

It has been one year since migrants were filtrated to Chicago from Texas. As of Friday more than 6600 migrants lodging at city-run shelters, with another 1,576 sleeping in police stations and more than 400 camped at O’Hare. More than 13,500 asylum-seekers have arrived in the past year, often with no money and few belongings.” (Chicago Tribune)

According to the Chicago Tribune, the city is operating 17 shelters. over 200 buses have come from the Texas border since last year. The city’s support systems are being stretched to the breaking point. The tab is running to the hundreds of millions of dollars in city, state, and federal money. Migrants are still sleeping in Chicago Police stations.

At O’Hare Airport, hundreds of migrants are stuck at a shelter that’s overcrowded and unsanitary.

Communities are up in arms over shelters opening in their neighborhoods. Homeless advocates question why the city cannot house our large homeless population. There are allegations of crimes being committed by the migrants or against them.

Inquiring minds want to know:

Why isn’t the Biden administration putting a stop to the filtration bussing if it is “unlawful?”

Why is no one, city, state, or federal authorities going into federal court to get a stay to stop to Abbott’s racist illegal stunt?

Why won’t the feds indict Abbott and his minions, slap on cuffs, haul them off to jail for violations of civil and human rights and interference in federal government operations.?

Why won’t they make Abbott do a perp roll in front of the cameras in his wheelchair?  

Why aren’t Chicago and Illinois suing Texas for the costs to the city of this illegal filtration system?

If the filtration is “illegal,” why not impound the buses when they drop off immigrants and haul them to the auto pound? The same with planes. Impound them and send them to an airport until a judge decides their fate.

Instead of stopping “illegal” activity by a state government official, the Johnson administration is begging for more tens of millions of dollars to assist the immigrants. “Pritzker said during Thursday’s press conference $350 million in total has been spent on efforts to help asylum seekers — $250 million from the state, $100 million from the city and about $38 million of reimbursement from the federal government.” (Block Club Chicago)

Greg Abbott’s racist political stunt is worthy of Hitler and Putin. He should be tarred and feathered in the press, who have been tepid in their response to Abbott’s filtration of immigrants.

We must commend the city and state for welcoming and assisting migrants seeking a better life. Chicago is a welcoming city. But, the mass filtration of migrants makes it nearly impossible to assist them with housing, necessities, and employment.

There should be severe repercussions for Abbott’s inhumanity. The news media editorial boards should be condemning Abbott for his cruel stunt. We should demand federal action to stop Abbott and recover costs from Texas because of his racist stunt.

How many more tens or hundreds of millions of taxpayer money do we have to spend? How many migrants must be housed in substandard conditions in police stations and other temporary shelters? Like Lori Lightfoot, Brandon Johnson is failing the migrants and the residents of Chicago. The Biden administration is failing us. They are doing nothing to stop this cruelty.

If, as Biden’s White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre stated, what Abbott is doing is “unlawful,” we are owed an explanation as to why Abbot is not under investigation or why the government is not in court stopping his illegal actions. Why is Governor Abbott being treated with kid gloves?

We get nothing but crickets. We are living in a city, state, and nation of cowardly politicians. So much for that slogan, “Home of the Brave.”

Here we go again

The late comedian, George Carlin, posited, ‘Just think of how stupid the average people are and realize half of them are stupider than that.” The gag is proven repeatedly in good ole red, white, and blue ‘Merica, Land of the Less-on* and Home of the Half-wit.

Summer is coming to an end. For the past two weeks, there have been incessant ads for pumpkin-spiced drinks and other food items. Pumpkin spice was invented in a laboratory by that second-rate coffee chain, Spewf**ks, or something like that. One could wonder if that lab was a meth lab, as that fake spice is so addictive.

Drooling, slobbering, mindless zombies wait in long lines to get their fix of fake pumpkin spice. They pay big bucks for the privilege. Dunkin Donuts has that crap too, as do other places. Pumpkin spice is everywhere, even in beer and liquors. Maybe these establishments should start open-air pumpkin spice markets for their addicts.

There is only one place for pumpkin spice, in pumpkin pies. But the rubes and unwashed masses suck that crap up like meth addicts. Lab-created pumpkin spice should be considered a Schedule 1 drug like heroin or coke and banned by the federal government.

Stores started stocking Halloween decorations, costumes, and other items in early August. They also sell another disgusting treat. Candy corn. Candy corn, which resembles rat pellets and has the texture of earwax, is another horrid treat that makes me want to blow chow. The original name for Candy Corn was Chicken Feed. Evidently, chickens would not touch the stuff. They marketed it as candy because children will eat anything called candy.

Last year Hormel, who makes SPAM®, introduced SPAM® Figgy Pudding. According to the company, “SPAM® Figgy Pudding brings a blend of warm spices and seasonal ingredients that will be the star in many wintertime recipe favorites. With notes of cinnamon and nutmeg combined with fig and orange flavors, you’ll taste true holiday comfort that will have you caroling all season long.” It sold out within days of its introduction.

‘Mericans throughout this country will make this a national holiday treasure. When Food & Wine has an article on it, you know foodies will try to score it. Members of the White Christian Nationalist Crystal Methodist Church of ‘Merica proclaimed SPAM® Figgy Pudding as a gift from above, manna from heaven. They offer it at Communion., the Great Comedian’s holy joke.

This country’s consumers are like its voters. They are clodpoles and chowderheads. There is not an ounce of intelligence in these people. Companies rely on this. They profit off the stupidity of the average ‘Merican consumer just like our politicians do.

These consumers should all wear “I’M WITH STUPID” tee shirts so they can be easily identified and shunned.

*Less-on is lower than a moron.

Is White Sox Jerry Reinsorf bluffing again


“Today we met and discussed our shared values and commitment to the city of Chicago, the importance of deep roots and the need for equitable community investment throughout the city.” (Chicago Tribune)

The above was a joint statement from Mayor Brandon Johnson and Bear’s president, Kevin Warren. The White Sox have been a Chicago institution for over 120 years. That may end, may being the operative word. Owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, is talking about moving the team, again. He tried that ploy before to get a new stadium. Guaranteed Rate Field opened in 1991. Guaranteed Rate Field is owned by the Illinois Sports Facilities Authority. The team leases the field. The lease runs for six more years. So, the Sox will be here for a while. It was rumored Reinsdorf is also thinking of selling the team.

Supposedly, Reindorf wants a new stadium. Or he may sell or take the team to Nashville. Why? Who knows? Reinsdorf cleaned house in the executive suite. He is bringing back that dim bulb fossil, Tony La Russa, as a consultant. Again, why? Who knows? La Russa belongs out to pasture. He is still living in ancient times when it comes to baseball.

Having two teams in Chicago gives baseball lovers twice the excitement. Baseball is a business. Reinsdorf is a businessman. If he wants a new stadium, which is ridiculous, he will do whatever it takes to get one. If he were a smart businessman, he would do what the Ricketts did with Wrigley.

Make improvements to the stadium and develop the surrounding area into a Soxville. Guaranteed Rate Field sits in the middle of a desert. There is nothing surrounding it. Reinsdorf is acting as cheap as the McCaskeys.

If Mayor Johnson was smart, he would encourage that development. As the Tribune states, “Here’s a chance for Johnson to spur major development in a challenged area and not to preside over the exit of two Chicago sports teams. That’s the key here: creating something akin to what the Detroit Tigers have done in downtown Detroit. And there is more available space than was the case in Wrigleyville.”

Mayor Brandon Johnson said he would do anything to keep the White Sox in Chicago. Yeah, right. How much will it cost the taxpayers to keep the Sox here? Why should he negotiate with a billionaire to keep one of the worst teams in baseball here? One of the reasons the Sox are so terrible is poor management. Reinsdorf, as the owner, is the head manager. Bringing La Russa back will just contribute to more poor management.  

There are rumors the Sox want to bring back Ozzie Gullien. Ozzie Guillén is a obvious draw for South Side fans. His one World Series title alone makes him the most successful manager in White Sox history.

Bringing Gullien back may be a good idea only if La Russa is around for a short time or they are mandated to keep away from each other. It is a good bet the two of them would constantly clash. Gullien would be the one to go, as it is apparent Reinsdorf and La Russa have a bromance going. They name streets after guys like La Russa, One Way, and Dead End.

Brandon Johnson did it again

Image: PV Bella

Mayor Brandon Johnson needs to think before he flaps his soup coolers. He is embarrassing himself. Since the editorial boards and reporters are giving him wide sway, Johnson believes he can say whatever he wants and get away with it. There will be no harsh criticism.

Now, there’s a lot to be said about the neighborhoods of Chicago, but there is one thing for sure, if you’re not offering solutions or hope for our neighborhoods, shut your mouth about the city of Chicago,” said Johnson.

Had the mayor started with, “If you do not live in Chicago … shut your mouth,” there would be no issue. People who do not live here know nothing and have no solutions. We have been bashed by less-ons* from other places for too long.

Johnson is telling the critics to shut up. Thou shalt not criticize the mayor or the city. Johnson is too full of hubris. As the saying goes, “Pride goeth before the fall.” If Johnson keeps up with his prideful and purposeful foot-in-mouth disease, his fall will be swift.

Johnson has no solutions as far as anyone can see. His first hundred days in office are nothing to brag about. His campaign promised no solutions to Chicago’s various serious problems including violent crime, homelessness, and the migrant crisis. Like Lori Lightfoot, it appears failure is an option and will be touted as success.

I wanted to give the new mayor the benefit of the doubt, in hopes he would be better than Lightfoot. It appears we are in for four years of stumbling, bumbling, and mumbing. Every time Johnson opens his mouth nothing intelligent or intelligible comes out. Just warnings. The only reason he is mayor is because over sixty percent of registered voters did not vote. Now Chicagoans must suffer the consequences.

Solutions have been offered for many of our problems over the decades. Politicians did not heed or execute them. Johnson is no different. Like his long line of predecessors, he will improve little and accomplish less. But, he will order people to “shut up,” including the weak-kneed news media and their lily-livered editorial boards.

The migrant issue is turning into a crisis. Johnson is doing little to mitigate it. As the article states, he offers few specifics of whatever his solution is. In reality, he is doing nothing to stop the Texas filtration buses from trafficking humans into our city. Neither is the governor, State Attorney General, or the U.S. Department of Justice. Once again, here are some solutions, Mr. Mayor. One, impound every bus that brings in migrants and tow them to the auto pound. The fees will be high and the city can use the bucks. Two, go into federal court, file a suit, and get a stay until the suit is heard. Geez, how hard is that?

We do not need Chicagoans to “shut up.” We need the people and the news media to create a loud noise until Johnson starts doing something. You know, acting like a mayor instead of a sock puppet.

Brandon Johnson is out of his element. He is not and was never ready for prime time. It is now his job to offer solutions. Johnson needs to act and stop mumbling nonsense.

*Less-ons are lower than morons.

Chicago we have problems

You must hand it to community groups and Chicago alderpersons. They come up with the most ridiculous ideas. It was not ridiculous enough when an alderperson bought whistles to give away. The dumb idea was if people saw a crime being committed, they could blow the whistles to attract attention.

A North Side community group is calling for people to refrain from shooting guns in Chicago between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. to reduce the risk to people “not involved in high-risk activities.”

The group, Native Sons, is from Rogers Park. 49th Ward Ald. Maria Hadden is promoting what is called “The People’s Ordinance” in her newsletter. While called an ordinance, no legislation is being considered. It is a sure bet the criminals will abide by the community’s wishes. Just like they abide by the laws against carrying guns, shooting people, selling narcotics, and committing other violent crimes. The rivalry between the Gangster Disciples and Black P. Stones gangs supposedly causes many shootings in the area.

It is hard to tell who is more ridiculous, the Native Sons or the alderperson. Community groups can look ridiculous. Many are and do. But elected officials are not supposed to look, act, or sound ridiculous. The Chicago City Council has a long history of alderpersons looking ridiculous. Ridiculousness happens when people vote with their feelings instead of their brains or worse, do not vote.

It may not be long before some in the City Council propose this idea as an ordinance. The City Council is full of ridiculous feather brained alderpersons. We are living in the age of asinine politics. Some community groups are as big of a joke as the Chicago City Council.

Our new mayor, when asked about the firing of the Public Health Commissioner, Dr. Arwady, evaded the question. Instead, he quoted the late rapper, Tupac- “You can’t always go by the things that you hear. Right? `Real eyes realize real lies…” Mayor Brandon Johnson cannot or will not answer a question to save his life. He dances around them and chides reporters for their choice of words. I was willing to give Johnson the benefit of the doubt and wished him success. No more. I doubt his ability to govern and pick qualified people to fill important posts.

“The victims of crime feel like they’re the ones that are not being supported, and that criminals are the ones that are being coddled,” one resident said. “… The police need to be able to do their jobs.”

The people in the Ukrainian Village held a community meeting with their alderman and the 13th District police commander. They expressed, sometimes angrily, their frustration and anger at the lack of policing. Former mayor, Rahm Emanuel, closed the district police station and merged it with the abutting 12th District. Various street crimes are up, people are in fear, and they complain they rarely see police patrols. It would have been better if they had merged the district with the 14th District, which is closer and abuts the 14th. The two police districts are demographics so the police would be familiar with them. They can still merge them with no disruptions.

Expert with no expertise

“Plus, Lincoln Park is home to the city’s two most popular beachfronts: North Avenue Beach and Oak Street Beach.”

I read an article written about what to skip and do on a trip to Chicago. The writer claimed to be a Chicagoan. The sentence above proves the writer is dumber than a box of rocks. Oak Street beach IS NOT IN LINCOLN PARK. It is in the Gold Coast neighborhood, almost a mile from where Lincoln Park begins. It gets worse. Local geography is not this scribbler’s forte. She advises people to visit Promontory Point, just south of Grant Park.” It is not “just” south of Grant Park. It is almost six miles from Grant Park in the Hyde Park neighborhood. The Point is worth a visit, but geez, tell people how far it is.

The less-on (lower than a moron) advises tourists where to find the best hot dogs or deep-dish pizza, as if people come here from afar just to try those food items. I bet this woman puts ketchup on a hot dog. Some people do come here for pizza and dogs. Those tourists, like this writer, are easy to spot. They wander in herds, look like they are hopelessly lost, and leave a trail of saliva drool in their wake, searching for dogs or pizza. They all wear the same tee shirts emblazoned with, “I’m with stupid,” in case one wanders a few feet from the drooling herd. This writer would advise people seeking authentic Mexican food to eat at Taco Bell or Chipolte.

The scribbler wades into the Al Capone territory. Why? Capone and his era are no longer relevant and not all that interesting aanymore. Evidently, this “Chicagoan” does not know there are no Al Capone tourist sites left in Chicago except his former home on the South Side. Fortunately, the less-on omitted the supposed gangland bus tours that the bark chewers waste their money on.

The scribbler promotes the architectural river tours, which are boring, inaccurate, and a waste of time and money. Geez, this person is an airhead. This supposed Chicagoan knows very little about Chicago and less about tourism.

“Wicker Park, Chicago’s hippest neighborhood, is your go-to for unique shops and thrifting…” Wicker Park used to be Chicago’s hippest neighborhood. No more. Wicker Park lost its hipness years ago when all the corporate brands opened stores there and the corporate hospitality groups flooded the food, drink, and entertainment venues. There are very few unique shops and very little thrifting left there.

First, telling people what to skip or see is the personification of privilege. Chicago has so many attractions. People decide what they want to see and experience. While we are all prejudiced with our favorites, spouting off like you are a “Chicagoan” does not make you an expert.

I read other pieces about what to do or skip in Chicago. They were just as misguided, but not as bad this one. The writer assumes tourists will love what she thinks are attractions or what should be skipped. A Chicagoan? She is probably a transplant from another planet.